Newsletter-September 2002
September Dates
Featured Mom
This months featured mom is Rachel Fredricks
Hello Angel Moms!
My name is Rachel Ann Frederick. I am honored to be your September mom! As this is a special time for me. Lets see I'll start with a little about myself!...I was born on August 29th, 1980 and I am the eldest of four children. We grew up in a town near Seattle, Washington- Bothell. In my early teen years we moved to Houston, Texas. Where, in high school, I met and fell in love with my husband, Cameron Frederick. We attended college together and moved out and started our lives. I am turning 21 this month and Cameron will be 23. We also have a kitty who is 5 years old, his name is Peanut. And our beta fish died only 2 weeks ago. Now on with why I am an Angel Mom!...
In January of 2001 we found out we were expecting our first child. We were exstatic. Things were going wonderful. At 5 months we decided to change our lives and get a new start so we moved to Seattle for cameron's job transfer. Our lives couldn't be better untill we lost our little baby. It was the 8th of September, and a beautiful day, we had things to do to get ready for baby, only 6 weeks to go! Our day was filled with running around, along with contractins that were steadily comming but nothing to bothersome. It was our first pregnancy so we didn't know what to expect. That night the contractions hurt so much I was in tears. They were 10 minutes apart and very strong. We called our doctor and she said to come right in we would be having our baby!. It was 11:00 pm when we got out of the truck and walk up to triage. Our lives came crashing down only 15 minutes later. They couldn't find her heartbeat. Not with a doppler or a ultrasound. Our little baby was gone. The following morning she was born at 7:25 am. We gave her the name Nicole Rayann. A day filled with tears and saddness. Full of phone calls to family across the states and family very near. She weighed 4 and 1/2 pounds and was 17 inches long. With curly black hair and perfect skin. She looked just like me. Our sweet little princess Nicole. We stayed every moment we could with her little body in that cold heartless hospital but finally had to leave her there. Two days later we had her cremated. We took her home for the first time and put her remains in a pair of white porcilin booties, tied up with pink ribbon. It was so heart wrenching to see neighbors look with smiling faces expecting to hear good news, only to realize something was terribly wrong. Nicole was six weeks early and the only determined cause of death was a blood clot that had formed in her umbilical cord spontaniously over 12 hours.It was so very unexpected and we never thought in our wildest dreams we would loose our baby...
On October 9th I was surfing around the web trying to find comfort and hope, and there like a north star was this wonderful site full of caring ladies who's feelings I could perfectly understand. You all are my guidance my reassurance that I can make it throught today and get up and do it all over again tomorrow.
It has almost been 1 year since I have been a member, WOW, time flies by so fast.We are now expecting the birth of our second daughter, who we plan to name Katheryn Nicole Celeste. Meaning: Pure, Goddess of Victory, from the Heavens. We also gave her the name Nicole in honor of her sister. We are excited about our bright future ahead and hope that things will continue to go right for us.
Thank you for taking the time to read a little bit about my self, my husband and our beautiful Angel Nicole, and soon comming little one. Below is a poem that I felt was written, through me, by my angel Nicole from Heaven...
To Mom~
Like a dove I am now flying free
You are never alone, I'm right there, you'll see.
To comfort and hold you, my presence is known
To wipe your tears, you are not alone.
Please believe me when I say, "I didn't want to go,
and how much you love me, I'll forever know."
I never wanted you to feel all this sorrow and pain
but through it all think of the strength you'll gain.
In your broken heart, my spirit is your treasure
One day you will come and we will finally be together.
To Nicole~
My beauty, my angel from heaven above
It is in your life that I found true live.
To be with me, guide me with your heavenly light
On that sad day with your wings of pure white.
We held you and smiled our heart filled with bliss
We had to say good-bye, and one last sweet kiss.
You will always be my dughter,my Angel, dear
I keep you in my heart, so you'll always be near.
I send out my love through angel hugs and kisses!
Always, Rachel Frederick
Nicole's Page
Poetry Section
Ode To Woodhaven
Twelve friends, five days, what a great time we had;
Some of us were good, some just a little bit bad.
There was Judi, Martha, Toad, Wedgie, Deb & Capri;
Tammy, Connie, Debbie, Reeny, Loni & me.
We’ve emailed on line, now we’ve met face to face;
Friends bonded together forever, united in this beautiful place.
The laughter and joking never seemed to cease;
The emotions we shared were a welcome release.
Connie’s antics, Shane’s wedding, Tammy’s cooking & Nathan’s play;
All brought laughter, tears & enjoyment all throughout the day.
Everyone exchanged gifts, all came straight from the heart;
Whether purchased or made, with none we will part.
A candle, music, angels, Tammy’s picture she drew;
Just how treasured these gifts would become, no one knew.
The rocks all painted with love & great care;
Each one placed tenderly - we chose to leave them there.
They are colorful reminders of our angels in the skies;
With an elephant, dolphin, bumblebees & dragonflies.
Balloons in the sky floating high up above;
We sent messages to our angels - we sent them our love.
We didn’t sleep much, we stayed up half the night;
But it didn’t matter, at the time it felt right.
There was not enough time (it went by way too fast);
For all we wished to do, why couldn’t it last?
The mountains, the cabin, the cool rushing stream;
All part of an experience so real - not a dream.
So many precious memories, with us they will always be;
Made in a cabin called Woodhaven in the mountains of Tennessee.
Laurie - Angel Jill’s Mom
Safety Tips
Laurie shared this with the group and we thought is was very good and wanted to also put it in the newsletter
The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
Pat Malone has been a bodyguard for famous figures like Farrah Fawcett and Sylvester Stallone. He works for the FBI and teaches police officers and Navy SEALS hand-to-hand combat. He has seen it all and knows a lot. Here is his advice on
HOW TO AVOID BEING THE VICTIM OF A VIOLENT CRIME.
(a.) Lack of Awareness You MUST know where you are & what's going on around you.
(b.) Body Language Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight up.
(c.) Wrong Place, Wrong Time DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood at night.
(2.) Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc). DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
(a.) A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
(b.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
(c.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
(4.) If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
(a.)The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
(5.) As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOPIT! It may get you raped, or killed.
(a.) Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
DON'T GET CAUGHT IN THIS TRAP.
From Toad's Desk
SEPTEMBER IS HERE!
September means “back to school”. For a lot of us, this brings more sadness…no school clothes to buy, no school supplies, no first day at school or back to school.
We get to look out our windows and see all the kids heading back…to a place some of them love and some of them don’t really care for. We get to listen to other mothers who tell us “Thank Goodness school has started…I didn’t think I would survive summer vacation.” What we wouldn’t give to have our kids home for summer vacation, to take them swimming, take them on day trips, on a vacation, to an amusement park. What we wouldn’t give to have our kids with us…PERIOD!
Some of us were able to experience “back to school” with our Angels, some of us never did. To those of you who have been able to send your Angel off on a “first day”, look back with fond memories, remember how your Angel looked, smelled, the anticipation in their eyes, the sadness that they had to leave you for a whole day.
For those of you who were never able to experience this with your Angel, try to take some joy in watching any surviving children head off this year. Know that your Angel is going with them and watching over them. For those of you who were never able to experience a “First Day”, it will be yet another day filled with the “Whys” and “What Ifs”. Something that we all are used to!
From Judi's Desk
This month has been a busy one for me, getting my girls back in school and my granddaughters started kindergarten I have also been working on web sites for others, and trying to get the Woodhaven site finished. I wanted those of you who visit it to feel as if you were there with us. We want to share our experiences and memories with all of you. Going on retreat and being able to spend time with the ladies you have bonded with online is an awesome experience. It is hard to put into words what it means to be able to spend time with women who have become so important to you. Hopefully, next year more of you will be able to attend and experience it to.
Here is the link to the web site.
Angel Moms Retreat 2002
From Kelly's Desk
I was all set to do my article on stillbirth. List the definitions, facts, causes and symptoms, then I began researching the information. It seemed cold and clinical. They used words like fetus, instead of baby or child, and stillbirth or miscarriage, instead of death. I began thinking about how I would feel if my precious baby was referred to as a fetus and her untimely death as a stillbirth or miscarriage? Doctors treat this loss as a life-threatening medical emergency, not the death of a child. Friends and family tend to dismiss it with words like "It's not meant to be." or "If at first you don't succeed..." For the most part it is just not talked about.
Because of modern technology, couples find out about their pregnancies much earlier. Emotional attachments are formed earlier. Couples begin to invest their hopes and dreams in their expected child and to share their good news. Those dreams are shattered when they loose their baby. Despite medical technology, there are no established rituals or ceremonies to memorialize their loss. Women today, are caught in a unique historical moment: Technology encourages them to form emotional bonds earlier, but society has not developed traditions to cushion the shock when those bonds are shattered. There are no accepted channels for their grief. Society expects people to get over it in a few days. The mental health field offers little help when there is no body to bury or life to eulogize.
Women end up feeling very distressed and grief-stricken. There is no acknowledgement that their grief is appropriate, so they feel like they are overreacting, and there is something wrong with them. They also undergo many changes in their body, including raging hormones and frequently pain. This trauma is psychic as well as physical.
I have some good news. The internet is changing the way society and the medical profession view miscarriage and stillbirth, and has given many folks a place to grieve, rather than something they try to forget and hide from.
Many women have become politicized and are using the net as an advocacy tool. Robyn Bear of League City, Texas began using her site to lead a campaign to get October 15th declared Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in all 50 states. She recruits volunteers online, and last year, 48 states, signed a proclamation. She is currently working with Congress to declare a national day of remembrance.
Jean and Michael Morrisey of Lexington, have become crusaders to improve the way hospitals treat women who miscarry. They set up a conference to educate caregivers about how to support grieving couples, and are trying to get a bill passed that would ensure that women who suffer a stillbirth receive the same quality of medical care as women who gave birth to a healthy child.
Thanks to groups like Angel Moms,women have a place to go to get comfort, love, understanding, and advice. So if you have lost a baby to miscarriage or stillbirth. Angelmom Kelly offers you this advice; Be patient with yourself, and do not expect too much too soon. Your baby was apart of you, and when your baby died, so did many of your hopes and dreams for the future. Choose a name as well as doing something to memorialize your baby. You are a mommy and have the right to grieve as long and as intensely as necessary! I'm glad you found angel moms.
Big Hugs, and prayers, Kelly
Sept.11, 2001~2002
Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims of 9-11, for the parents who's children will never come home, for the spouses who's loved ones will never hold them again, for the children who will grow up without their parents and for the children who will never know their fathers, our hearts go out to all of them......
~September 11th-One Year~
Our hearts broke that day
Our security was shattered
Our Nation dropped everything to pray
Right then nothing else mattered
So many lives were lost
So many hopes and dreams are gone
So many paid the cost
But they did not go alone
They took a part of us with them that day
Our hearts went out to their loved ones
Our Nation in shock trying to find it's way
Parents waited for word of their daughters and sons
Husbands and wives prayed for the return of their mates
Children waited for mommy and daddy to come home
Families waited to learn their loved ones fates
A Nation waited with them, they were not alone
We gathered together in shock, anger and disbelief
How could this have happened with no warning
Our emotions soon turned to grief
As we learned how many lives were lost that morning
Now a year has come and gone
Babies were born who will never know their Daddy
Except through photos and memories alone
So many hopes lost and things that will never be
To the families of the victims lost that day
We haven't forgotten either and never will
You have touched our lives and hearts in a special way
We pray for you and cry with you still......
Judi Walker
Dedicated to the families
Of the victims of Sept. 11th
Sept. 2002
A Thought
If you have made mistakes, even serious ones,
there is always another chance for you. What
we call failure is not the falling down,
but the staying down.
- Mary Pickford -
If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi
Editor: Judi,
Staff: Toad (Carin), Deb, Debbie, Kelly
Angel Moms Web Site