November Dates
(Karen's Grandaughter) |
|||
This months featured mom is Michele Rudolph
I would like to thank the staff of Angelmoms for the honor of being chosen the "November Feature Mom". I also want to thank them for creating Angelmoms and for being there for all of us.I lost my angel Dino on the first day that Angelmoms went online (3-17-02). I joined Angelmoms in May of this year after hearing about it on John Edward Crossing Over. All of you quickly became my Lifeline and gave me others to talk to that knew the same emotions that I was feeling.
I am 43 years old and I married my high school sweetheart, Dino, 21 years ago. I am the mother of two children. My daughter Nicole is 20 years old and attends the Indiana University of Pennsylvania. My son Dino, became one of Gods' Angels five days after his birthday, he was a high school senior and will forever be 18.
I have worked for Ameriserv Financial since 1989, as a bank teller. I just recently started writing poetry in memory of my son and I am trying to teach myself how to create web pages (hopefully someday I will be able to create them as beautiful as Judi and Martha and will be able to give them a helping hand).
So In closing I would like to thank all of you for being there for me, and hopefully I am also there for you when needed. If you haven't visited the beautiful web page that Judi created for my Angel Dino, please use this link to get to know him.
Dino's Memory
The price of joining is very high and because of this we are all now tied
The memories we all share is something to all of us that is very dear.
Here we can cry, laugh, and scream because we have all lost that special dream
The bond we have all now started is because of all of our loved departed
So a Thank You to all who created Angelmoms,
A lifeline given to us is what you have done.
Written by Michele Rudolph
In memory of Dino who gave me my new family of Angelmoms
Copyright October 19, 2002
Poetry Section
Touched by Angels
We are touched by angels
And walk where angels tread,
They will guide us,
Walk beside us
Through the days ahead.
In the hours of darkness,
When our dreams have flown,
They bring hope
And gentle healing,
We are not alone.
In our times of doubting,
Still they understand
And forever
Touched by angels,
We walk hand in hand.
Unknown
From Deb's Desk
Each month I run late, some months I forget to even run ... in helping Judi with our monthly news letter.
For those of you that know me you know I am constantly looking for a craft project to do. While chatting with a few members I realized several of us were interested int he memory quilts. These can me made in many different ways. I have read articles where a quilt was made by taking clothing of those you love. Cutting the clothing to use in quilt blocks and assembling. This is a great idea, although not sure if even after 10 years I am ready to cut Nathans clothes But I can see myself on a bad day wrapping myself up in a quilt made from some of his clothes from comfort.
Another idea is a memory quilt. In this quilt you could transfer photos onto fabric squares. Assemble the squares as you prefer. I have looked online for some sites to help in these projects.
the first one is a good prices for the kit. The photo paper is not cheap when you purchase it and this package also comes with instructions. Although if you are a crafter, look for Joann's flyers. They send out 50% off coupons on one item. You could get these photo papers very reasonable there with the coupon. But keep in mind you get what you pay for. use good quality paper, and good quality material in doing these. The photos papers I used in making T shirts for the retreat last year was good, its sold at Walmart in the fabric center. I don't remember the cost but I thought the download prints were good and ironed on nicely as well.
You will need a scanner to do these, the transfer papers and a good printer with a supply of ink. Plain your quilt top in a pattern before printing, Think about the photos and the lay out. I have used the photo paper
Below is directions for a quilt, using photos as your blocks. Remember squares are good... you can do the whole quilt in squares, if having pieced blocks is more than you have time for..
I think this is the same Quilt Debbie R shared with us...
SIZE: Approximately 48" x 68"
44"-wide cotton fabrics:
1 3/4 yd smooth 200-count white for photos
2 yd (total) assorted scraps for block edges
1 /2 yd for binding
2 7/8 yd allover pattern or solid for backing (or 2 yd any 54" wide)
35 black-and-white or color photographs
Photo-to-fabric transfer paper (from a crafts store) and access to a color copier (or to outsource transfer, see Note, below)
Twin-size 1/2" poly/cotton batting
Thread for sewing; white thread for quilting
Optional:rotary cutter and mat NOTE: Photographs can be transferred to your fabric at a local T-shirt photo-transfer shop. Mail-order transfer companies include Great American Quilt Factory (800-474-2665) and photoTextiles (800-388-3961). Check the Internet for listings, too. Be sure to verify requirements for fabrics and photos. Since the pictures are printed from photocopies, the original photos should be returned unharmed.
STITCHING NOTE: Pin pieces right sides together, raw edges matching. Stitch with 3/8" seam allowance, included in the cutting. Press seam allowances toward the darker fabric. WASH: and iron the colored fabrics, but wash the white fabric only if required by your transfer medium (some avoid it). CUT: thirty-five 8" white fabric squares. COPY: photos in black-and-white on a color copier to fit well within a 7" square. Transfer a copy to center of each fabric square, following transfer-medium directions (or see Note, above). Measure carefully to make sure photos are straight. CUT: seventy 2" x 8" and seventy 2" x 10 1/2" strips from assorted fabrics. Lay out the photo squares in rows of 5 across and 7 down. Place short strips on sides of first square, long strips on top and bottom. Around next square, place short strips on top and bottom, long strips on sides. Alternate in this manner throughout to create a woven effect at the corners. STITCH: short strips, then long strips, to each square. Trim edges even, making all blocks the same size (about 10 1/2" square). Stitch rows of 5 blocks in strips; stitch strips together. CUT: 44"-wide backing in half crosswise (leave 54" fabric uncut). Stitch pieces side by side. Seam will run crosswise on quilt. SPREAD OUT: backing wrong side up; add batting, then quilt top, centered right side up. Pin or baste well, from centers out to edges, avoiding pictures and keeping fabrics smooth. Trim backing and batt to same size as top. MACHINE-QUILT: along seams between blocks, along edges of white squares and photos with white thread and medium-length stitches (12 per inch). Tip: Stitch all lengthwise rows first, so you don't have to turn to stitch around squares and pictures. Back-tack to secure full-length rows; ends will be covered by binding. To work partial rows along squares and photos, carry thread from section to section. To begin and end sections, work 2 stitches forward, 2 back to tack, then proceed forward. Clip thread close to quilt. Work crosswise rows in same way. CUT: long, 2"-wide strips for binding. Stitch end to end to fit around quilt, plus 6". Press binding in half right side out. With all raw edges matching, pin folded binding to front; lap ends and turn in lower raw end. Stitch with 1/4" seam allowance. Fold binding to back and slipstitch in place.
If you go to Goggle.com and type in Memory quilts there is several links to helping you see finished products. I would love to see some of us make these, if anyone does please share with all of us your quilt top when completed. I for one would love to see it in working stages as well. Good luck, have fun and enjoy this project!
Links below are ones I found interesting and useful for ideas.
Click here: Memory Quilts
From Debbie's Desk
As my son Josh's "should be" 21st birthday is approaching and his 6th "Anniversary in Heaven" date also comes within days of each other, I am overwhelmed with emotions. The "could have beens" and "should have beens" fill my mind. The questioning I put myself thru, the guilt, the sadness, the not understanding of it all. Emotions, running wild like a river. I beat myself up emotionally, then slowly pick myself up, telling myself that I couldn't have done anything any different from I did. I tell myself that if love would have kept him here, then he would be here now. Emotions running wild. We all know those days, those times. We all know those emotions. We know if love would have saved our children, that there would have never been a need for AngelMoms. So even though I beat myself up, inside my broken heart I know I am doing all I can, when I can, and with the best knowledge that I have. So the poem below is for all of us Moms....
JUST FOR TODAY
FOR BEREAVED PARENTS
by Vicki Tushingham
Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours and not expect to get over my child's death, but instead learn to live with it just one day at a time.
Just for today I will remember my child's life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.
Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.
Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.
Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child, for they are hurting too, and perhaps we can comfort each other.
Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world I could have done to save my child from death, I would have done it.
Just for today I will honor my child's memory by doing something with another child because I know that would have made my own child proud.
Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship to another bereaved parent, for I do know how they feel.
Just for today when my heart feels like breaking, I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving and the only reason I hurt is because I had the privilege of loving so much.
Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and to have had my child I had for as long as I did.
Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did, my life did go on, and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.
From Judi's Desk
In the last few weeks, there have been some questions about Victim Impact statements, what they are, what should be included etc. So I decided I would write about it as my topic for this month.
The Victim impact statement is your opportunity to tell the court about the impact the crime has had on you. It is a factor that the court will take into account in sentencing. It may help the defendant realize the effects of what he or she has done. The decision to make or not make a Statement is yours.
A statement should tell what the crime did to you. How it has effected you physically, emotionally and your social well being, and any monetary costs of the crime. There may be compensation, if you are going to ask for compensation, you need to provide details of any loss of income or of ability to earn. This can also be done at a later date by your attorney or advocate.
Copies of your statement will be given to the judge and the lawyer representing the accused, the accused will have a chance to read it. You can ask for it to be read out in court for you or you can read it out yourself.
You may be questioned about the truth of the Statement, but this is very rare.
Please keep in mind you cannot tell the judge what to do, and you should not use the statement to describe the crime or to abuse the offender or anyone else.
As most of you know, my son Shane was murdered. I wrote a Victim Impact Statement, but because of the outcome of the trial, my statement was never heard. No one has ever read it, for a long time I couldn't look at it, because it reminded me of the injustice done to Shane. After the conversations in the last week about Victim Impact Statements, I went and dug it out and decided to put it in the news letter. Here it is:
Today, I am at a place I never dreamed I would be, doing something I never dreamed I would do. A victim impact statement was not something in my vocabulary. I have agonized over this, agonized over what to say. How do you put into words what the murder of your firstborn, your only son does to your life and the lives of all those around you.
In the Spring of 1977, I was a teenager, unwed and pregnant. I was faced with a decision, the decision to chose life or death for this baby. I was scared, scared of raising a baby, scared of the responsibility ahead of me, scared of it all. But I chose life for this baby and with the help of my parents and the baby’s father, on December 3, 1977, Shane was born. Almost twenty years later, someone else held Shane’s life in their hands. They had the choice to let him live or die. Adam Carrier chose death for Shane.......
By doing this, he has destroyed so much. Shane was a wonderful young man, not perfect by any means, but someone who enjoyed life, he was a son, father, brother, husband, grandson, great-grandson and a friend to many. He would help anyone he could. Five and a half months before he was murdered, he became a father to twin girls, Krista and Kristen. He loved it and he loved them. He was so proud of his baby girls and though he was young and unprepared, he was turning into a wonderful father and growing up. Not long after the birth of the twins, one day he was talking to me about them, he was trying to describe how he felt. I said it’s like you finally love someone more than you do yourself, he looked at me amazed and said, yes, how did you know? I told him because it was the way I felt the day he was born. Two weeks before he died, Krista said “da-da” for the first time, he was so proud and so happy. He never got to hear Kristen say it, Adam took that away from him. Shane never got to see his daughters take their first steps, share their first Christmas with them, or a birthday, he will never take them to their first day of school, never go to a father daughter dance with them, never be their for them when they have a problem and need him, never get to meet their boyfriends, never walk them down the isle on their wedding day, never be there when they have children of their own and would make him a grandfather. Adam took all of this away from these two little girls............Krista and Kristen don’t remember their Daddy, but they know all about him, we take them to the cemetery and they give him little gifts, pictures, necklaces, toys, cookies, suckers, send him balloons and things like that. They think this is what a Daddy is, a headstone, they call it Daddy’s rock in a cemetery where you take things to. Someday, we will have to explain to them what happened to their Daddy and why he is not here. I dread it, how do you explain to a child that to another person, their daddy’s life meant nothing, had no value, that this person thought they had the right to play God and end it, when they are no better than the devil himself?
I have told you what it has done to the lives of his daughter’s, now I will tell you what it has done to mine. It hurts, it is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I never knew you could feel such pain and live through it. I almost didn’t, I came close to taking my own life on January 17, 1998, thank God I didn’t, that would have let Adam Carrier take more from my family and I will not let him do that. I am stronger now than I was then, but I still hurt, there are times I just want to destroy things and scream with the pain, there are times that I do.......I watch my husband and my daughters hurt and see them wanting to reach out and help me even though they are hurting just as much as I am. I have seen my husband age years before my eyes, I have seen him try and control the anger and rage he has because of what Adam has done, this is coming from a man who before was quiet, controlled and easy going. I have heard the screams and cries in the night from my daughters rooms, hurting, missing their big brother. I have seen their pain and their fear, somebody murdered their brother, that means somebody could murder them, their parents or someone else they love too. Parents are supposed to be able to fix things for their children, I cannot fix this for them or for Shane. I try and take it day by day, I try not to look at the big picture or the future, to see myself living without Shane for the rest of my life is something that is so hard to do.
My heart breaks for myself, my family and Shane’s friends, my heart breaks for a lot of people. One of them is Jan, Adam’s mother, how hard this must be for her. We love our children no matter what, but what has this done to her? This is not her fault, I am sure just like I did with Shane, she loved Adam and raised him the best she could, how could she know this baby, this child she brought into the world with love would grow up to be a cold blooded killer? Nothing Adam can ever do or accomplish the rest of his life can she be proud of the way she was before, Shane’s death will overshadow any accomplishment he could ever possibly make. I know lots of people judge us by the accomplishments and failures of our children. I am asking that no one judge Jan for what Adam has done, she did not make him do this, nothing she did caused him to do this. Adam and Adam alone did this to himself, his family and Shane and his family, Adam chose this path for all of us. He must now take responsibility for what he did and pay the consequences.
Adam gave Shane a death sentence, but that is not what I am here asking for him. I have no more right to ask for life or death for Adam than he did to chose it for Shane. And as a mother who has lost her child, I could not ask for Adam to be put to death, that would be me wishing my pain upon Jan and I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. I do ask you, your Honor to please give Adam the maximum sentence you can, please give him a life sentence, just like he did the rest of us when he took Shane’s.
Here are some sites I found with more info on Victim Impact Statements
FYI: Victim Impact Statements
National Center For Victims of Crime
Women's Rural Advocacy Programs
Angel Outside My Window - Victim Impact Statements
MADD Online: Community Victim Impact Statements: A Community Response
From Kelly's Desk
WACKY THANKSGIVING FACTS
