Angel Moms

Newsletter-June 2002



Because June is Father's Day, we dedicate this months newsletter to all the Father's of Angels. This is for the father's who hurt and grieve for the loss of their children, who support the moms and stand by them, whether the children were theirs or not. We dedicate this newsletter to the REAL fathers........

A Dad hurts Too

People don't always see the tears a dad cries,
His heart is broken too when his child dies,
He tries to hold it together and be strong,
Even though his world's gone wrong,
He holds his wife as her tears fall,
Comforts her through it all,
He goes through his day doing what he's supposed to do,
But a piece of his heart has been ripped away, a Dad hurts too,
So when he's alone he lets out his pain,
And his tears come like falling rain,
His world has crashed in around him,
And a world that was once bright has gone dim,
He feels he has to be strong for others,
But Dads hurt too, not just the Mothers,
He searches for answers but none are to be found,
He hides behind a mask when he is feeling down,
He smiles through his tears,
He struggles and holds in his fears,
But what you see on the outside is not always real,
Men don't always show how they really feel,
So I'd like to ask a favor of you,
The next time you see a mother hurting over the loss of her child, please remember.....a Dad hurts too.

Judi Walker
Copyright 2002
Dedicated to my husband Mike



June Dates



Date
Child's Name
On This Date
Mom/E-mail
June 2, 1975
Adam Ayer
Was Born
Nancy
June 5, 1970
Shawn Cook
Was Born
Linda
June 5, 1987
Shane Ellis
Was Born
Dana
June 5, 1974
Jason Dunn
Was Born
Susie D.
June 6, 1971
Krista Petroski
Was Born
Shirley
June 6, 1978
Jenn Handley
Was Born
Kathryn
June 6, 1998
Marcia Schwartz
Became An Angel
Arlene B.
June 10, 1996
Rita King
Became An Angel
Sandra
June 11, 1974
Amanda Abilez
Was Born
Judy A.
June 13, 1979
Jennifer Stanko
Was Born
Laura G.
June 13, 1982
Camron Murphy
Was Born
Carolyn S.
June 15, 2001
Savannah Kristyne
Became An Angel
Darcy
June 15, 2001
Matthew
Was Born An Angel
Darlene D.
June 16, 1992
Megan Pelzer
Was Born
Ginny
June 16, 1993
Catherine Theresa Doherty
Became An Angel
Debra D.
June 16, 1998
Alexandrea Metcalf
Was Born
Sarah B.
June 16, 2001
Robert Olgers
Became An Angel
Amy
June 17, 1965
Beth Ann
Was Born
Naomi Q.
June 21, 1971
Michael
Was Born
Diane
June 21, 1983
Christopher Trottier
Was Born
Michelle T.
June 21, 1997
Aaron Michael
Became An Angel
Seanna
June 23, 1979
Stephen
Was Born
Cheryl R
June 24, 1994
Brenden
Was Born
Traci W.
June 25, 1970
Joe Gardiner
Was Born
NancyG
June 26, 1995
Robert Olgers
Was Born
Amy
June 26, 2001
Jamie Hart
Became An Angel
Kathi S.
June 27, 1989
Owen Dainty
Was Born
Amanda
June 28, 1984
Aaron Elijah
Was Born
Valrie
June 28, 2001
Valerie Henderson
Became An Angel
Kelly H.
June 30, 1998
Alexandrea Metcalf
Became An Angel
Sarah B.
June 30, 2000
Shane Stephens
Became A Angel
Sylvia S.


Featured Mom



This months featured mom is Laurie Meiresonne

Hi! I’m Laurie and I’ve been a member of Angelmoms since December, 2001. I live in Milan, Illinois which is connected to the area of IL & IA known as the Quad Cities. My husband, Paul and I have been married 29 years. We both grew up in this area and have been here all our lives except for 2 years while he was in the service and we lived at Edwards AFB, California.

I worked for 15 years as a real estate secretary and also had my real estate license but recently changed jobs. I am now financial coordinator for a dental practice. We have a son, Brian who is 24, two labs, Buddy and Holly, and our angel, Jill who we lost last year at the age of 20.

Jill had been healthy all of her life until 2 weeks after her high school graduation when she was diagnosed with AML, acute myelogenous leukemia. We couldn’t believe it! The only symptoms she had were fatigue and some bruising which I didn’t even notice, and I consider myself the attentive type mom. After all, she was an active teen-ager busy with school, work and friends. She told me she thought she should go to the doctor. I thought maybe she was anemic so when the doctor did a blood test and told us he thought it was leukemia we were devastated. She then spent several weeks in and out of the University of Iowa Hospital for chemo and a stem cell transplant which put her into remission. She recovered, went back to school and work and was doing great but at her 1 year check up a relapse was found. Her only option was to have an unrelated bone marrow transplant. That January she had the transplant and never got to come home. The complications were many and eventually led to liver failure which took her in March, 2001.

I now try to keep as busy as I can. In my free time when I am not sitting at the computer I enjoy gardening, crafts and watching birds in our yard, especially hummingbirds. I also do things to keep Jill’s memory alive such as making memory books and keeping in touch with her friends. Jill’s best friend, Kelly was expecting her first baby when Jill passed and asked if we would mind if she named her Jill Marie after our angel if she had a girl. We thought that would be the ultimate tribute. Little Jill is now 14 months old and we think of her as our “surrogate” granddaughter.

I am honored to be the featured Angelmom for June and I will always remember it since it is also my 50th birthday this month. I first heard about this wonderful group on “Crossing Over” one night. I went to the web site and immediately wanted to become a part of it. I felt welcome right away and have met so many special people. I’ve been to some support group meetings but I can honestly say that I get the support I need on line thanks to all of you. All of my family and friends have heard me talk about Angelmoms. I can’t say enough good things about them and I’m so looking forward to meeting some of you in person next month at the retreat. You are truly my lifeline and I don’t know where I would be without you. Thank God for Angelmoms!

Jill's Page



Poetry Section



MY SON

It happened so very long ago,
but seems like yesterday.
That you came into my life
then the angels took you away.

We said youlooked just like my dad
in miniature was his face.
From the curls on your head down to your toes,
Of me and mom no trace.

I never got to hear you cry,
Never held you in my arms.
Many hours at the window I stood
Praying you'd come to no harm

But I found out God had other plans,
He didn't want you to stay
You fought so hard all through the night
and saw not the light of day.

I never will forget you,
My tiny baby son
It seems you barely took a breath
and then your life was done.

Written for Dale
in memory of Timmy
by Carin



From Toad's Desk



FATHER'S GRIEF

1. Take some time for yourself. go fishing, take long bike rides or walks in the woods, or spend a weekend or two alone at the beach. This allows time to eliminate distractions momentarily.

2. Don't take on any new responsibilities. Give up some.

3. Allow yourself to cry. This is a most healthy response because it not only lets out stored-up tension, but it releases toxins from your body.

4. Deal with your natural anger by venting on things, not people.

5. Talk with other bereaved fathers and focus on your feelings...not how to help your wife. There is a good possibility you need more help than she does.

6. Talk with your wife about your feelings. Listen to her.

7. Accept the fact that men grieve differently than women, and talk to your wife about this. Let her know your needs.

8. Read about grief, the feelins and responses that you can expect to occur. Discuss what you read with other bereaved fathers.

9. Take it one day at a time. It's the ONLY way!



From Deb's Desk



Who Is She

I look deep within her eyes
And see her tears
As I look at her face
I recognize her pain
Her thoughts are always clear
The words may not come
But one thing will always be
Her fear will always remain

She will continue on with all that she has
Sometimes with nothing to give
Yet trying to regain her past
Hoping that within the cloud of her mind
She can find the strength
To continue on
Yet others fail to see why
To most she looks as though
Her heart has healed

It doesn't take any words
To comfort her
It only takes someone who will
Listen and reach within
Giving her the peace she needs
Understanding her fears
Realizing nothing will ever be the same
And only memories remain

I know together
We can walk down the path
Searching and hoping
For questions unasked
And answers untold
Holding onto our memories
Cry yet another tear
Remembering days gone past

Who is she?
How could I know her pain
She is yet another AngelMom
With a heart that will never mend
She will hold her head high
Take one step at a time
And remember her child
Who lives in her heart?

Deb Goldsberry



From Debbie's Desk



My dedication this month is also for the Fathers. But I am not talking about the biological Fathers, I am speaking of the step fathers. The "Fathers" that step up to plate when the biological Dad won't or don't in their children's lives. I am talking about the ones that comfort the Mothers when they lose child that isn't theirs physically, but they are theirs emotionally. I am talking about the ones that take the kids to places and watch them play sports and dance recitals, cheering them on proudly. The ones that tuck them into bed at night and read books until the little eyes are shut. The ones that say "my son" or my "my daughter" because they are proud to be able to say that. The ones that don't take advantage of the children, they appreciate them. The ones that want to be around them and love them unconditionally. There is lots of lots of these "Dads" out there, and I thank God everyday for my son's stepfather. Like someone said before...."Anyone can be a Father, but only a few can be called Dad." Thank you to all the "Stepdad Dads..." we appreciate you....



From Judi's Desk



I am always getting on to my Newsletter staff telling them their desk is empty and here it is almost time to send out the newsletter and my desk is empty. This month has been a busy one for Angel Moms. We had our biggest increase in membership this month than ever before. This month alone, we have had 71 members join our group and all most all of them were in the last week. Most found Angel Moms through John Edwards, this wonderful man has brought a lot of moms to us.

I want to thank the moms who help me run Angel Moms, Carin, Debbie, Deb and Martha...without all of you there is no way Angel Moms could have handled such a large increase in membership at once. I also want to thank the moms in the group for giving such warm welcomes to all the new members and helping to keep things running smoothly. I want to thank the new moms for bearing with us as we tried to keep up and get you added. I also want to apologize to any members who did not get a welcome to Angel Moms and for any other mistakes that were made. I was so afraid of messing up and giving someone's child to someone else, but that is not a big thing in Angel Moms, because once you join, your child becomes ours too.

With a group this large, we generate a lot of mail, some of the new members were unable to handle it, so I refered them to the message board. Please remember to visit it once in a while to give these moms the support they need. This message board is not posted or linked to the Angel Moms web site, because we want to keep it private for members only, we want members to feel comfortable posting there and know that not just anyone can read their message.
Angel Moms Message Board

I want to thank you all for making Angel Moms what it is! When I started Angel Moms, I never dreamed it would become what it is today, I couldn't have done it with out all of you.

I would also like to thank my husband Mike and my daughters Jennie and Laurie for their patience and all the things they did that allowed me to have more time on the computer to be able to take care of things here at Angel Moms.



From Kelly's Desk



This month I would like to talk about leukemia. Laurie's daughter battled this disease for two years. Leukemia is a complex disease. I hope to give just a general understanding of this devastating disease. What is Leukemia?

Leukemia is any type of cancer that effects blood cells. Red blood cells carry oxygen; White blood cells fight infection; Platelets aid in blood clotting. Blood cells are made in the bone marrow. Leukemia begins when immature blood cells, in the marrow, becomes cancerous, dividing uncontrollably and overriding the bodies normal cell division. Over time they can accumulate in lymph nodes or the spleen.

What are the Symptoms?
If it is effecting the red blood cells; pale skin, fatigue, and shortness of breath are the symptoms. If white cells are effected; prone to infections is the symptom. If it is the platelets, you will see; nose bleeds, gum bleeding, a tendency to bruise easily, and pinhead sized red spots on the skin.

Types:
Leukemia is classified as myelocytic or myelogenous if it came from the red blood cells or platelets. If it came from the white blood cells it is called lymphocytic.
Leukemia is either acute or chronic. Acute develops rapidly. Chronic develops slowly and abnormal cells don't severely inhibit normal blood cell development.

How common?
Leukemia is the sixth leading cause of cancer deaths in men, and seventh in women. It accounts for 1/3 of cancer in children under 15.

Who's at Risk?
Myelocytic leukemia - both acute or chronic forms can occur at any age. 90% occur in adults. Risks increase dramatically over age 50. Acute myelocytic leukemia (AML) is the most common form in the U.S.
Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) rarely occurs before age 45. Acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL) occurs at any age. 1/2 of all cases are in children under 19 year old.

What Causes it?
Most cases the cause is unknown, but Dr.'s have identified 4 known causes. Intensive radiation exposure. Exposure to chemicals, like benzene and chemotherapy drugs used for breast cancer, and 2 viruses, called human T-cell leukemia virus I & II (HTLV). These virus-related forms are rare in humans, but quite common in animals like cats.
Genetic factors may also contribute to the development.

How is it Diagnosed?
Bone marrow biopsy and blood tests are used. Sometimes additional tests, such as staining of the cells helps in examining there appearance. Chest x-rays and spinal fluid examinations can determine how far the disease has spread.

How is it Treated?
Much to my surprise, what I said causes leukemia is what is used to treat it. Chemotherapy and radiation!
Chemo and radiation are designed to destroy the leukemia cells, however it also destroys the healthy cells in the marrow. For this reason a bone marrow transplant maybe needed to replenish the blood forming system.The stem cells must come from a matched donor. Usually a sibling.
Immunotherapy, although experimental, looks promising. This is where radioactive antibodies are injected intravenously. This delivers a radioactive substance directly to the leukemia cells, with minimal effects on the healthy cells.

How Successful are these Treatments?
80% of children with (ALL) are cured. 40% of children with (AML) are cured. These percentages lessen in adults. In chronic leukemias, cures are rare, but with treatment, life is prolonged from 3 years to 6 years.

I hope I have given some insight, and understanding of this disease. If you would like to know more, search leukemia on the web. There are lots of sites dedicated to informing and supporting patients.



Guardian Angel



A country singer/song writer, Billy Barr contacted Angel Moms to share a song he had written with us hoping it would bring us some comfort. It is a beautiful song, he said it reminded him of us and our children. He gave us permission to use the song on the web site if we wanted to. I am making a page for it now. Also, he sent a message that any Angel Mom who wanted to order the CD "Playin' For Keeps" that the song is on could do so through him and get it for half price. You can visit Mr. Barr's site at www.billybarr.com

The lyrics:

Guardian Angel

Weep not now cause I've passed on, for I'm with the angels now,
And I am your guardian angel, watching down from my cloud,
And when you smell my scent, and you dream I exist,
That's when I'll try to hug you, and give you a kiss,

Everywhere that you go, and everything that you do,
I will always be there, to watch over you,
So don't be scared, of what's in-store
That's just me, not a creakin floor
And there will be times I'll turn a light on,
or sometimes I'll even close a door,

But every night, as I tuck you in,
I'll spread my wings, once again,
and cover you up, with widespread wings,
I'll talk to you, in your dreams,

So weep not now cause I've passed on, for I'm with the angels now,
And I am your guardian angel, watching down from my cloud,
And I am your guardian angel, Watching down from my cloud,

Written by-William Michael Barr C-99 Reg.Libr.Congr.D.C.



A Thought



"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother"
Unknown

"The greatest gift I ever had came from God and I call him dad"
Unknown

"Father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be."
Unknown



If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi

Editor: Judi,
Staff: Toad (Carin), Deb, Debbie, Kelly

Angel Moms Web Site

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