(Karen's Grandaughter) |
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This month's Featured Mom is Janice Gilmore
Four years ago, October 20, 2003, I received the phone call that changed my life forever. I had spent the day setting up for a neighborhood pizza party, serving pizza, and cleaning up. My husband and I had just turned out the lights and crawled into bed when I heard the ring and was surprised by the voice of my daughter-in-law since she hadn’t spoken to me for almost a year. “Mom,” she said, “There’s been an accident and Kevin is dead.” He was hit by a truck going through a light and was killed instantly around 6:00 p.m. It was a nasty rainy night and Kevin had stopped at the grocery store on the way home from a College Honor Society meeting. He had called Theresa to tell her he loved her and wanted to know if he could pick up anything for her. As he sat in a left turn lane waiting for the light to change, a 19 year old girl in a borrowed truck with faulty brakes sped down the hill, through the red light, and landed on top of my son in his small gas saver car. According to the couple which came to the memorial service and said they had stayed with him while he died, he couldn’t have felt a thing. I thought my life was over. I couldn’t believe I had been serving pizza when my son was dying. We got a flight that night from California to Washington, and we saw Kevin one last time, covered by a sheet in a funeral home. Theresa chose not to see him, but I had to prove to myself that it was really true.Today I am able to smile and laugh again…though I’m still caught unaware by tears and grief. More than anything my grandkids have saved my life…my daughter’s two boys. Hunter turned 4 the day after Kevin’s death, and Lucas was born a month and a half later…a week before what would have been Kevin’s 30th birthday. Hunter, the one most like Kevin in personality and size, just turned 8. Lucas, the one I rocked through my first Christmas without Kevin will be 4 in December. As I held Lucas in my arms in the same rocking chair I had rocked Kevin 30 years earlier I thanked God for something to hold on to. Hunter would always remember his Uncle Kevin, Lucas would never meet him.
I had a choice: to just let myself die and spend the rest of my days regretting what might have been. Or to take advantage of the time I had left to appreciate what Kevin would never have the opportunity to experience. I still had a daughter who needed her mother. I had remarried the father of my children after 20 years of separation. My daughter-in-law considered me her Mom and wanted me to be a part of her kids’ lives. She also assured me that Kevin understood and forgave me for whatever had happened between us that last year when we were disconnected. And I could be the grandmother that participated in my grandchildren’s lives in a way I had never been able to participate in my own children’s lives.
The day after my son’s death a dragonfly landed close beside me as I stood by a fish-pond outside my son’s home. I was sure it was Kevin. At Kevin’s memorial service…arranged by his friends in his apprentice program, I discovered a Kevin I did not know existed…much loved, admired, and enjoyed by his friends, teachers, and employers. He was granted his high school diploma because of the physics classes he had passed with A’s in college. At the graduation service he would have gone through from his apprentice program he was honored…they made a copper etching of him which they placed where he worked. I read a notebook Kevin had put together for class which stated that Kevin was most proud of his marriage…which he considered his most important accomplishment. I discovered that Kevin and his wife had supported a few important causes and had volunteered to help others…that Kevin had stood up for his beliefs and spoken up when inappropriate jokes were made in his presence.I learned that there are no rules for grief, that I did not have to go through it alone, and that I had the support of others who had been through loss. Though my husband dealt with grief differently and thought I should deal with the process more quickly, I could always talk to my best friend who had lost her son two months before Kevin’s accident. I could talk endlessly to Angel Moms and not be judged for how I was or was not dealing with grief. And I could deal with loss in my 12 Step Recovery Program. My daughter-in-law stayed in my life until just recently when she apparently has chosen to move on with her life and close the door on her relationship with me. She seemed like my last link to Kevin, but I am beginning to recognize that Kevin will always be a part of me.
My son had 10 years of sobriety when he died and I now have 26 years of sobriety. I discovered that I did not need to drink to run from my feelings, and I have learned to have compassion for those going through what I have gone through. For some reason, those in the program with me have seen me as some kind of a hero…simply because I didn’t drink. I am beginning to recognize that God still has work for me to do. When I find myself overwhelmed with sadness, I remind myself that I have been given the gift of continued life…a time to treasure the love of my grandchildren, to feel Kevin’s presence in the wind, a beautiful sunrise, or a clear star filled night. And I have chosen to believe that I will see Kevin again some day. When I fly in an airplane it seems like I have one foot in each world…Kevin is waiting for me but surrounded by family and my daughter Kirsten is becoming the person God meant her to be. Since today I am retired, I have an opportunity to delight in little moments with my grandkids…time I felt too busy to appreciate as a working mother.
I live in the desert surrounded by sunshine and love. My husband and I enjoy camping in our RV, attending Hunter’s water polo, laughing at Lucas’s delight in life. We bike together. He plays tennis and I go to lunch with friends in the program. I have become active in church once again after turning my back on it when I got a divorce. I’ve done a lot of writing…even participated in a novel writing group. And most of the time I am grateful for the gifts God has given me. I have discovered that my life has changed completely since Kevin’s death, but my beliefs are stronger, my support network bigger, and life is beautiful once again.
I truly believe that God does not close one door without opening another.
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving blessing wishes, and love
To all of our children who now live above
For each of us here left to share in this day
Our memories shall take us to a time far away
To Thanksgivings when each of our children were here
We would gather together for holiday cheer
Those days gone forever stored deep in our heart
Back to when life had not yet fallen apart
Now one chair sit empty on Thanksgiving Day
Pain in our hearts simply won't go away
We long for you always, wish you were here
So difficult without you at this time of year
Six weeks from Thanksgiving to the New Year
Bring us much sorrow and so many tears
To live on without you each day and each night
Is now our new normal, a terrible plight
So as we sit down to our Thanksgiving meal
A mask on our face, and a heart that won't heal
We hope that somehow we will feel you near
And maybe our heartache won't feel so severe
In loving memory of Joey and his heavenly buddies
Lyndie Sorenson
© November 2006
Holidays Holidays are so hard for us grieving Mothers. It seems empty without our child with us. Thanksgiving and Christmas are all about family get togethers and without our child there it is so hard. I wanted to include some ideas on how to include your angel child into the holidays with you.At Thanksgiving make some kind of food to go along with whatever else you are cooking that your child loved and tell everyone that you made this dish in memory of your angel.For Christmas i always buy something in memory of Tiffany like a little angel or an ornament for the Christmas tree. I go to the cemetery and decorate her grave. I have thought about this year when the family is all sitting down talking that i will ask them to share a memory of Tiffany. I always want to include her into the family holidays celebrations because she is still a big part of the family and always will be.Here are some other suggestions for the holidays. Be kind to yourself!
Many people suffer from depression around the holidays. If this means that you don't go anywhere, so be it! If this means that you take a vacation instead of spending time with your family, do it. Take what you can, and excuse yourself from the rest. Read a book, get a massage, spend time alone or with your husband, do whatever feels right.
Start a new tradition.
Maybe the old traditions hold memories that are too painful, or maybe you need to do something with more of an adult theme. Through your own party, go visit a nursing home, make an ornament or other decoration, do whatever helps you and you enjoy!
Planning for family gatherings.
This can take on several issues at once, including, dealing with your family, stress, children and more! You might try taking your family in smaller doses. Look into the possibility of staying in a hotel so that you can enjoy the family and yet still have the possibility of escape if you need it. Say yes to what you feel up to, but turn down anything that you don't feel that you can handle. And do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
Grieving During the Holidays
• Avoid what gives you the blues.
• When asked, “What can I do to help you?”…have your list.
• Acknowledge to yourself, to another, that holidays may bring emotions and memories to the surface.
• Share stories about your loved one (i.e. If….were here, you know what....would say! Remember when…)
• You may feel sad. Feelings are neither good nor bad; it’s what you do with them that make a difference.
• Re-evaluate old traditions and family rituals. Do you want to keep observing them? Want a change? A different way to celebrate?
• Plan something to look forward to on January 2…after the holidays.
• It’s OK to set limits. Let others know what you can do or don’t want to do, or how much you want to do for the holidays.
• Find opportunities for support.
• Count your blessings…make a list.
• Look for the true meaning behind the holiday.
• Slow down as best you can (inside and outside).
• Do something good for yourself at least once a day…this little treat will get you over some of the rough spots in the day.
• Take some time for prayer, meditation and sitting quietly in God’s presence.
It seems like this time of the year, the holidays hit us one after another. Just as we get through one, here comes another one. This month we have Thanksgiving, a time to look back and remember the things we are thankful for. Some may think they have nothing to be thankful for because their loss is so new. But there are things there and in time, they will come to light. As time passes and the pain eases some, we see things differently, we see a new us, a new perspective, we learn to live again.
I would like to share some of the things I am thankful for.
I am thankful for having a son named Shane. Though his time here was short, he sure gave me a lot. As much as it hurt to lose him, I am thankful for every precious moment I had with him.
I am thankful for my family, my husband Mike, daughters Jennie and Laurie, my granddaughters Krista, Kristen, Tina and Shana and my mom. Without them, I don't know where I would be. They helped give me a reason to keep going and start to live again.
I am thankful for the friends I have, who have stood by me and helped me get to where I am today.
I am thankful for each and everyone in this group, even though pain brought us together, love, comfort and support are shared to help us survive. We reach out to each other through our pain to try and help ease the pain of another or just to say "You are not alone."
Wishing you all a peaceful Thanksgiving.
Hello Angel Mom sisters. November has arrived and the holidays are looming ahead. It is difficult for most of us to look forward to the celebrations when our angels will not be with us. Each November since I have been writing for the newsletter I have shared the followingHello dear friends! Halloween is over, and we are now heading full force into the holiday season. Whether this will be your first holiday without your angel, or you have survived many, we all can’t help but reflect on holidays past, and the holidays that will never be. Speaking for myself, I know I am truly thankful to have each of you here, and I am thankful that we all have each other to turn to in our grief.
This story was in one of the many little booklets given to me by the hospital after Zackary died, and it has always helped me to remember the precious time we had with him. I wish you all a peaceful and blessed Thanksgiving.
Hugs to all,
Krista, mom to Angel Zackary
The Little While
by Darcie D. Sims
Many years ago as we faced our first bereaved Thanksgiving, I was worried. Our infant son had died in September and no one felt much like celebrating anything, let alone gathering family together to express our gratitude. Gratitude!!!! About what???? What on earth did we have to be thankful for?
Our little guy had died after a horrible battle with a malignant brain tumor, leaving us exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. There was little to spend on a lavish meal, and I did not have the energy to even think about hosting a family gathering.
But, despite our unwillingness to participate in the passing of days, Thanksgiving did arrive and we did have a small family dinner. I think the turkey was dry, the mashed potatoes lumpy and I'm not sure we even had rolls. I set the table with our best crystal and china in a weak attempt at being "festive", but the only thing sparkling during that meal were our tears.
It is a tradition in our family to have the youngest at the table say the blessing, so it fell the our five year old daughter, Alicia, to find some words of thanksgiving. I was almost glad it wasn't my task to speak of gratitude when there simply wasn't any to be found around our table! How awful of me, a grown woman, to wish such a job onto a five year old!
Alicia refused to accept her assignment. She refused in the manner of many 5 year olds and it became a battleground between mother and daughter, adult and child. She simply looked at me and said what we all felt, "What's there to be thankful for this year?"
We argued intensely, and her refusal guaranteed the silence I dreaded. I knew this year's celebration would not be survivable. Her stormy face told me to forgo the family blessing. We ate in grieving silence, each caught in our own web of stories, tears and sadness. About halfway through the meal, however, Alicia announced that she would say "something" at dessert. I wasn't sure what "something" meant, but I figured dessert was something to be thankful for!
As the pie was served, Alicia told everyone to "hold hands like the Waltons". Slowly, awkwardly, painfully, we reached across our grief and clasped hands, forming a family circle around our table. Alicia bowed her head, took a deep breath and in her five year old voice brought us the light...
"Thanks God, for the little while."
In our grief we had focused on what we had lost and worried about how we would survive another day. Alicia, with the wisdom reserved only for children, understood better than any adult around that table the gift her brother had given us and the gift for which we are forever grateful...the little while.
This month my mother will turn 78 years old on Thanksgiving Day so I wanted to dedicate this article to her, who without her strength and love I could not have made it through Jill’s illness and death. Both of us grieved and still grieve together in much the same way. But sometimes I feel that her grief has not been acknowledged the same as mine. After all, I lost a child, the worst possible pain anyone can experience. But she lost a granddaughter and at the same time lost a part of me, her daughter and the loss of Jill’s future and mine. She is not only missing out on all the milestones Jill will not be experiencing but also watching me miss out on them as well. It’s as if she was hit with a double whammy, her pain every bit as intense as mine times two. But it doesn’t seem like she got the same comfort and understanding as I have for the past 6 years since Jill left us. Unfortunately grandparents tend to take a back seat while parents receive more attention during the grieving process. I know at the time I was so consumed with my own grief I didn’t notice and for that I am sorry. So Mom, thank you for being the wonderful mother you have always been to me and for being there for me in all my pain and suffering when you were suffering yourself. To all of you who are lucky enough to have had your mother with you during the loss of your child, I am happy for you. And those of you who didn’t, I can’t imagine what it must have been like.
Wishing all of you a blessed Thanksgiving and may you spend it with your mother or feel her presence with you.
With a Smile
While many times we think of grief as being sober, replete with tears, I have also noticed that humor can help heal. Isn’t laughter the best medicine? If you are new to AngelMoms, you may wonder if you will ever laugh again. You will. You will laugh over the most ridiculous things. I must warn you that this can lead to the slippery slope initially, and you may cascade down the hill in a flood of tears. Grief is filled with emotion.
I ran in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure this Fall. There is a Race for the Cure in many cities and towns across the country. The promise of one loving sibling to her ill and dying sister has blossomed into a multi-million dollar fund raising event to find a cure for breast cancer. My grandmother died of breast cancer and my sister has had her own battle, undergoing a bi-lateral mastectomy this year. This is the first time I think she has been glad that she was not that well endowed. This is a race I cannot miss.
At races like this, I always brace myself for the inevitable, tear inspiring t-shirt or sign. However, this year I seemed to notice the humor. One team had beautiful pink t-shirts with their team name blazoned across the shirt-the Pink Ta-tas. I spotted another woman running with a t-shirt, which clearly had printed on the back, “These Boobs Were Made for Walking”. Maybe I laughed because I could remember when Nancy Sinatra made a song with a similar title popular or maybe I just recognized the strength of someone fighting a battle with everything, every weapon she had. One of the tools was humor. I had to admire her for it and smile myself.
On Mike’s first anniversary in 2002, we decided to go away to celebrate life-ours and his. We ended up in Orlando and chose Fulton’s Crab House for dinner. None of us could resist the irony of choosing a seafood restaurant, saying that Mike would have been annoyed. He was the non-fish lover in the family. We laughed and reminisced in a way that we could not have imagined possible only a few short months before.
Don’t be afraid to laugh! You never know what could happen.
Diana's Memory Lane
Through sharing our memories
It keeps our children alive.
With each special moment remembered
They help us to survive.
As we walk down memory lane,
We always keep them near.
For they are the ones we will never forget.
The ones that we hold so dear.
Written by:Zana Maxwell-AngelMom to Alex
alexchristopher.memory-of.com
This month Angel Mom Beth has shared 2 memories of Angel Danny with us...Thanks Beth for letting us all see Danny through your eyes.
Danny was my only child and he never got to know his Dad before we divorced so he picked up my traits like helping animals.From the time he could go outside to play he was bringing home sick animals or strays and wanting me to feed them or make them better.If he could he would have kept them all. I had to say no a lot and I should have said no when he brought home the box with 2 hamsters in it. He had found it on the side of the road and immediately found a cage and borrowed food from his friend before showing it to me . He was 8 so I said yes. I should have known someone had some reason for not wanting these hamsters and I found out the next morning---13 baby hamsters!!! Now I'm not a big fan of rodents and that is what hamsters are, so I was not a happy camper. Danny said he would take care of them so I thought OK just until we can find homes for them. 2 weeks later when I came home from work Danny was acting funny and about 6 of his friends were there. My Dad who was watching him left quickly and couldn't stop smirking. I knew something was going on, but not what until I went to sit down and something squealed real loud. Well my screams brought everyone running and I found out the secret. Mama hamster and her brood had escaped and were everywhere. It took us the next 5 hours to find them all and then I treated the boys to pizza for helping my son with his problem. They even helped Danny find homes for all the hamsters, so I could have my house back. Everytime Danny wanted an animal after that, I reminded him about the hamsters and we would laugh.
The condom story is sweet, but some people may not understand. I was always honest and straightforward with Danny since it was just the 2 of us. I didn't want him to be afraid to talk to me about anything. Well, he asked me out to lunch when he was 17 so I knew he wanted something.After awhile he finally told me he was going to have sex for the first time with the girl he was engaged to when he died. I was a little speechless at first, but then I asked him what he wanted me to say? He said nothing.but that he was afraid to go into the store alone and get condoms, since I had told him about safe sex. (Yea, turn it around on me!) Well, he told me to use my own judgement and would I buy them for him. Naturally I did and I was a little proud, because I never would have talked about sex with my mother and here was my son trusting me enough to talk to me. I think that was my proudest moment as a Mom. I really miss him.
Please send Memory to dianaandharold@bellsouth.net
Thanks Diana
This month we welcome Natalie to the newsletter staff
Messages from the Light;©
Natalie Smith-Blakeslee
Bereaved Mom and Medium
One of the hardest situations to deal with here on this earthly plane is the loss of a loved one. Parents, siblings, and grandparents. But one of the most heart wrenching is that of the loss of a child. As it is said to be "Un-natural" to bury a child, our children are to bury us, the parents, not us bury one of our children. Being so un-natural of a passing is the reason why it is so very hard on us.We lose a part of our heart when we lose a child.
Yes, I too have lost a child. My oldest daughter, Carrie Ann Smith, age 27, passed 10-2-2005.Many times in my own dealing with loss and grief I have said "This is so not right", or " Its not right that we have to bury our child","She passed to young and she had more to do here on the earth plane"
So...I now as a bereaved Mom, and a Medium, a facilator to those passed on .I sit on both sides of the fence.I know the pain and loss of losing my own daughter, yet as a medium I know that we are energy and that we still on go from this world to another world where we will all see our loved ones, pets and yes our children once again. It is my hopes that I can share with all of you what life is like on the other side as well as what our children do there, who is with them and ways not only as a medium to cope with the loss of YOUR child. But ways I have learned to cope as a bereaved Mom. I hope that I can help many that have lost children and other loved ones to know and be more at peace with where their deceased family members are. That is why I have offered to help with articles that will relate to grief, loss, heaven and our children. Not only as a bereaved parent but as a medium and a near death experiencer. I hope the knowledge that I have learned can help those of you who, like me have lost a part of our hearts when we lost our children.
Many of us wondering, search more and even hungry for the information about the after life and where our children are after our loss.Not knowing weather we can truly believe what we are reading and always questioning if there is life after we leave here.I can tell you that there is. I know this because I have been there. And didn't want to leave.This is not unusual because many that have been there felt the same way. meeting God, Jesus or a higher power presence and seeing loved ones that have passed on before them. Visiting with those that we have not seen in many years perhaps. We have been quoted as saying " We are now HOME" and have felt our heavenly Fathers presence.
Heaven, has but one word in my mind "AWESOME" there is no beginning and no end to heaven it is simply put...."THERE" A world and a place that is known to few of us that have been able to return and come back to tell about it. Those people are know as near death experiences. PMH Atwater, Dannion Brinkley, Bette J. Eadie and myself are among just a few that have come back and been able to tell people about their experiences.I would highly recommend PMH Atwater's books as she is a three time near death experiencer, they are detailed and highly informative. Not only that but she is a dear friend of mine and has been for many years,having worked with her on several occasions as well. Her BIG BOOK OF NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES, is most informative and well worth reading, should you have questions of life after death.
Heaven is as vast as the cloudless area you see above when you fly, openness, vast and never ending. A life that continues on there somewhat like we do here.The feeling of peace adorns the area, love and a sense of home that I can only explain as being magnified 1,000 times what we feel when we come into our own surroundings after a long hard day at work. It is the place our heart always yearn one day to return to. Almost like a gravity pull to that area when our time here on the earth is done . When we have learned all the lessons we are to learn here, while we are here. Many look to the sky's for heaven and in many ways the sky reminds of what heaven is like. I use that as a reference because heaven has no beginning and no end to it. There is no one place that heaven is, it is just there. Helen Keller once referred to heaven as walking from one room into another but in that room she could see. And that is the best explanation I can think of. Leaving this world or this room and walking into your bedroom or living room is where heaven would be, the distance that is. It doesn't take long to get there seconds perhaps...and we are HOME. In that home God, Jesus or whatever you choose to call him is felt, his love is felt.....and this feeling is HUGE like you should never have doubted it because now you know its real type feeling. More love then one can explain or feel, just flowing in our hearts and out of our hearts. Now knowing that God is love and all that is Love God is.
For a medium and as a medium , heavens conversation is fast. heaven is run on a faster pace then our world. Why there world runs faster then ours I have no idea I know just that it does.There is no need for time in heaven.All of those passed know inside of them when to be where and is like a silent time within them. With just a sense of knowing. A parent may ask how does my child know that I would like a sign for my Birthday. As your heart knows every beat your child in his or her heart will know and remember that special time and date. Like a light bulb going off they will know what the day is . Still born, or toddlers, adult children or teens....all of our children have that sense and knowing. It matters none what age our child was when we lost them when it comes to this. It is something that happens to everyone that passes to the other side. Its done in what I term "After LIFE 101" class. And that is a different article in its self.
Blessings to each of you as you travel this rough road of grief and loss. Remember that there are bad days, good days and then bad days. Grief it is said, is like a roller coaster. A ride that I am not fond of that's for sure. But one that you must ride at some time in your life, if we are to truly love grief is the price we must pay.
Love and Light
Blessings too
Natalie Smith-Blakeslee
Bereaved Mom and Medium
www.loveandlight.com
Cornhusk Garland and Mini Pumpkin Centerpiece
For instructions for this month's crafts, click here: Instructions
Acts Of Kindness
The Act Of Kindness Award will be given to an AngelMom that was nominated for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It will not be a contest, it is "Thank You" kind of award. Anyone can be nominated. If someone has touched your heart by doing something special, please nominate them by emailing Loni. There is no exclusions, everyone is included. We will list each member that has received an Award.
Acts of Kindness for the month of October were presend to
Angel Mom's Acts of Kindness
Expert Offers Tips On Coping With Grief During The Holidays
The holidays are a joyous time for most, but for those who have experienced a loss, the usually festive time of year can be a painful reminder that their loved one is no longer around.
"Traditionally, it is a time of family, friends and laughter, but for people who are in the grieving process, the holidays can enhance feelings of personal grief and separate us from what used to make us happy," says Cynthia Bozich-Keith, a clinical assistant professor in Purdue University's School of Nursing.
She says that although every person's grief is individual, there are several things a grieving person can do to get through the season.
She offers the following suggestions:
-- Be gentle with yourself. Be sure to take time out to care for yourself, whether it is through pampering or just slowing down your pace.
-- Be sure to eat a nutritious diet, exercise, get adequate sleep and avoid alcohol.
-- Talk about your feelings with people you love and who love you. Allow yourself the right to talk about the person who died. The process of sharing memories may help with the healing process.
-- Set limits. Be realistic about the difference between what you want to do and what you can do vs. what you should do. "The shoulds will get you every time," Bozich-Keith says. "It's important to let go of the need to be perfect or doing it all. If you're used to doing all of the shopping, cooking and decorating around the holidays, perhaps this is the year to share those things with others."
-- Don't feel guilty if you find yourself enjoying yourself around the holidays. "It is not disrespectful to the memory of your loved one if you have a good time," she says. "Your loved one would be happy to know you are enjoying yourself."
-- Embrace your memories and find comfort in them. "This is the bittersweet part," she says. "Our memories often bring us to both tears and laughter, but they are what sustain us through the years."
-- Celebrate life. Attend a holiday or religious service if faith is part of your life. Some people find comfort in acts of remembrance such as donating a poinsettia in memory of a loved one at church or making a donation in their name to a charity. Also, recognize that it is acceptable to create new traditions.
Bozich-Keith says it is important to keep in mind that sadness is normal during the holidays, no matter how long ago the loss took place.
"Try to ride the wave of emotions and accept that feelings of sadness and pain are unavoidable and are heightened during certain times," she says. "The intense feelings will pass, but grief is an ongoing process. Don't ever expect closure. It gets easier with time, but there will always be an empty space at the table."
Purdue University
http://www.purdue.edu/
National Survivors of Suicide Day - November 18th
Every 18 minutes someone in the U.S. dies by suicide.
Every 19 minutes someone is left to make sense of it.
What is National Survivors of Suicide Day?
National Survivors of Suicide Day was created by U.S. Senate resolution, through the efforts of Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada, who lost his father to suicide. Every year, AFSP sponsors an event to provide an opportunity for the survivor community to come together for support, healing, information and empowerment.
AFSP's National Survivors of Suicide Day links simultaneous survivor conferences throughout the country and internationally -- each local conference site is organized independently, but they're all connected through a live broadcast by satellite and on the web. This unique network of healing conferences helps survivors connect with others who have survived the tragedy of suicide loss, and express and understand the powerful emotions they experience.
When is National Survivors of Suicide Day?
It's always the Saturday before Thanksgiving. This year's conference will be held on Nov. 17, 2007. The live broadcast runs from 1-2:30 p.m. EST. Some conference sites also choose to add local programming before and/or after the broadcast. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
The Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program
Pumpkin Maple Flan
This flan is flavored with spices and maple syrup, along with the wonderful pumpkin filling and caramel layer.
INGREDIENTS:
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 large egg whites
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1/2 cup grade B or dark grade A maple syrup (grade B is more flavorful, available online)
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 can (12 ounces) evaporated milk
PREPARATION:
Heat oven to 350°. Place an 8-inch square baking dish inside a13x9-inch baking dish. Fill the larger pan with very hot water to a depth of about 1 inch; set aside.
In a heavy-bottomed 2-quart saucepan, heat the sugar over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the sugar is melted, smooth, and golden brown in color.
Pour into the 8-inch square baking dish. Pick the dish up out of the hot water immediately and swirl to coat the bottom with the caramel. Place the baking dish back in the larger dish of water and set aside.
Beat the eggs with the pumpkin, maple syrup, spices, vanilla, and salt. Whisk in the milk until well blended. Pour over the caramel layer. Bake for 50 to 60 minutes or longer, until a knife inserted into the center of the flan comes out clean. Remove the flan to a rack and cool. Refrigerate to chill thoroughly, for about 4 hours or overnight.
To unmold, place the pan in about 1/2 inch of warm water for about 30 seconds. Run a knife or small spatula around the edge of the flan to separate the sides flan from the baking dish. Jiggle the dish gently to loosen the bottom more then place a platter or serving plate over the top of the baking dish. Invert and jiggle gently until the flan releases to the serving plate. Let stand for a few seconds to let excess caramel adhering to the baking dish drip onto the flan. Cut into squares or triangles to serve. Spoon a little of the caramel sauce over each serving.
Serves 6 to 8
Cranberry Pumpkin Muffins
INGREDIENTS:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup pumpkin puree
2 cups fresh or frozen cranberries, coarsely chopped
1/2 cup oil
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup molasses
1 egg, lightly beaten
PREPARATION:
Directions for cranberry pumpkin muffins
Combine flour, brown sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in a medium mixing bowl. Combine remaining ingredients in a separate mixing bowl. Add wet ingredients to dry, mixing just until the dry ingredients are moist.
Do not overmix. Generously grease a 12-muffin tin and dust with flour or line with paper muffin cups. Fill muffin cups about 2/3-full with batter. Bake pumpkin muffins in preheated 350° oven for 25 to 30 minutes, or until nicely browned. Remove pumpkin muffins from tins to wire rack to cool. Makes 12 cranberry pumpkin muffins.
Pumpkin Bread Recipe
This pumpkin bread has cream cheese filling.
INGREDIENTS:
Filling:
1 package (8 ounce) cream cheese, at room temperature
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 large egg
1 tablespoon finely grated orange peel
Bread:
1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 cup pumpkin puree, canned or homemade
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts, optional
PREPARATION:
Preheat oven to 325°. Lightly grease two 8x4x3-inch loaf pans. In a medium mixing bowl, combine cream cheese, 1/2 cup sugar, 1 tablespoon flour, 1 egg, and the orange peel; beat until smooth and creamy. Set aside.
Into another bowl, sift 1 2/3 cup flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and nutmeg; set aside. Put pumpkin puree, vegetable oil, 2 eggs and 1 1/2 cup sugar in a large mixing bowl; beat well. Stir the pumpkin mixture into the flour mixture just until combined. Fold in the pecans or walnuts, if using.
Pour half of the pumpkin bread batter evenly into the two prepared loaf pans. Spoon cream cheese mixture on top of pumpkin batter layer and then pour on the remaining pumpkin batter.
Bake in preheated 325° oven for 60 to 70 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean. Cool bread in pans for 10 minutes; remove to a rack to cool completely. Pumpkin bread recipe makes 2 loaves.
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Angel Moms Newsletter-November Printable Version
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