I heard quite often "men don’t cry"
though no one ever told me why.
So when I fell and skinned a knee,
no one came by to comfort me.

And when some bully-boy at school
would pull a prank so mean and cruel,
I’d quickly learn to turn and quip,
"It doesn’t hurt," and bite my lip.

So as I grew to reasoned years,
I learned to stifle any tears.
Though "Be a big boy" it began,
quite soon I learned to "Be a man."

And I could play that stoic role
while storm and tempest wracked my
soul.
No pain or setback could there be
could wrest one single tear from me.
Then one long night I stood nearby
and helplessly watched my son die.
And quickly found, to my surprise,
that all that tearless talk was lies.

And still I cry, and have no shame.
I cannot play that "big boy" game.
And openly, without remorse,
I let my sorrow takes its course.

So those of you who can’t abide
a man you’ve seen who’s often cried,
reach out to him with all your heart
as one whose life’s been torn apart.

For men DO cry when they can see
their loss of immortality.
And tears will come in endless
streams
when mindless fate destroys their
dreams.

Ken has been a member of the
Northwest Connecticut Chapter of
The Compassionate Friends

Acts Of Kindness




The Act Of Kindness Award will be given to an AngelMom that was nominated for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It will not be a contest, it is "Thank You" kind of award. Anyone can be nominated. If someone has touched your heart by doing something special, please nominate them by emailing Loni. There is no exclusions, everyone is included. We will list each member that has received an Award.

Acts of Kindness for the month of May were presend to
Joanie Harris "Wedgie" by Reeny Fitzer

Angel Mom's Acts of Kindness



Remembering Father's Day

The United States is one of the few countries in the world that has an official day on which fathers are honored by their children. On the third Sunday in June, fathers all across the United States are given presents, treated to dinner, or otherwise made to feel special. While the origin of Father's Day is not clear – many believe it was Mrs. John B. Dodd, of Washington, who first proposed the idea of a "father's day" in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd's mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington State. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent.

The first Father's Day was then officially observed on June 19, 1910 in Spokane, Washington. At about the same time in various town and cities across America, other people were beginning to also celebrate a "father's day." In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day; but it wasn't until 1966, that President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the third Sunday of June as the 'official' Father's Day.

Today Father's Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure. Stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, and adult male friends are all to be honored on Father's Day. Our hope within this holiday, as children, is that we recognize the sacrifices made for us by our parents, namely our fathers. The father or patriarch of a family is often seen as the source of strength and support through all times – both good and bad.

During present day, we have experienced an evolution of the family. No longer does the American household necessarily embody the 1950's ideal of the nuclear family system, father, mother, 2.5 kids, and a dog. Life and society have changed our perceptions of what may be deemed "necessary" for a family to exist and thrive, and with this realization we still wish to seek out the men in our lives to honor them and the many deeds that they perform. Father's Day is a time of celebration and love, but for some it can also be a time of great heartache. Father's Day can be a particularly sad day for those of us who have lost a father figure or for those fathers who have lost a child. For these reasons, Father's Day can often be a day filled with sadness and grief, rather than joy and celebration.

When child loss occurs, for some reason most of the sympathy expressed is pointed in the direction of the mother of the child. Maybe the feeling is that mothers mourn losses more or perhaps the reasoning is that fathers are the stronger parent figure. The reality is that fathers grieve the death of their child too, and they need support during this difficult and lonely time. Because men by nature are the ones who "fix" problems, fathers often look at grief as a fixable problem. A man may withhold his feelings of pain, and will instead work long hours away from home, or will think of work projects to keep his time occupied. Many men are not as social as women and do not seem to need as much social interaction as women. Therefore during these difficult times and days, many men can find it a great support to privately journal their feelings when child loss occurs. This can also be a beneficial activity for the child who is missing their father, but does not know how to express these feelings long after the initial shock and grief have passed (Hinton, 2004). What is found to be difficult for a man or child to verbalize can often be more easily expressed on paper. Journaling thoughts can be a good outlet to a person during the personal emotional adjustment of child or parent loss.

"Hands on" work is another positive way of working through grief and loss. For example, engaging in a commemorative work project may be a way of expressing feelings. A father or child may choose to do something positive such as build a special photo box or bookshelves that will hold pictures and other remembrances of the loved one who has died.

It is important to recognize that fathers and children go through emotional upheavals during the grief of a child or parent loss. Fathers may grieve differently than mothers, but a day dedicated to them can be just as emotionally heartbreaking. They might not want a lot of special treatment on Father's Day. Men are generally less apt to talk about their feelings of hurt and loss than women, but those feelings are still there and should not be ignored.

Special holidays stir up many different emotions for fathers and children, and so Father's Day, especially, can be difficult following the loss of a loved one. With help and support from family and friends, a father or child can move forward in their grief. Often what means most to a person grieving or struggling through Father's Day is simply the recognition of this emotional time. Be sensitive to the different experiences and lives of others – remember that no two families are the same and thus be sensitive to the fact that we all travel through life on different roads. On Father's Day we celebrate the important men in our lives, but we also must celebrate and be kind to each other. The outward face of family may be evolving or changing, but the love that defines family if forever. Take the time now to honor those important people in our lives – on Father's Day and every day.

References:
Hinton, C. (2004). Helping a father through Father's Day. Retrieved April, 28, 2004, from: www.silentgrief.com
Hinton, C. (2004). Where does a father find support? Retrieved April, 28, 2004, from: www.silentgrief.com





Angels on Horseback
From Half-Baked Gourmet: Party Food
by Jan Turner Hazard

1 lb. fresh sea scallops, about 20-22 per pound
1/4 cup soy sauce
3/4 lb. center-cut sliced bacon
1/3 cup preserved sliced fresh ginger

Remove and discard the tough muscle attached to the scallop. Cut each scallop in half horizontally. Place scallops in a medium bowl and add soy sauce; toss to coat. Heat broiler. Cut bacon in half crosswise. Place a scallop on one end of a bacon slice and top with a piece of ginger. Roll up and place on a broiler pan, with bacon ends tucked under. Broil bacon-wrapped scallops until crisp and slightly browned, 4-5 minutes. Turn scallops and continue broiling 3-4 minutes more. Drain. Serve immediately with toothpicks.

Makes 40-44. Prep: 20 min, Cook: 10 min.

Per serving: calories 235, fat 20.0g, 77% calories from fat, cholesterol 38mg, protein 11.0g, carbohydrates 2.4g, fiber 0.1g, sugar 0.8g, sodium 688mg, diet points 6.8.

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Angel Hair Pasta with Vegetables
Prep: 10 min, Cook: 10 min.

1/2 lb. angel hair pasta
olive oil spray
1 cup cauliflower florets
1 cup broccoli florets
1/2 cup onion, diced
1/4 cup vegetable stock or water
3 cups spaghetti sauce
1/4 lb. shredded mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup grated Parmesan or Romano cheese

Cook pasta in boiling water about 3 minutes until just cooked throughout. Drain and keep warm. Spray oil in a heavy nonstick skillet and heat over medium high heat. Sauté cauliflower, broccoli and onions 2 minutes. Add stock and continue to sauté 4-5 minutes, until vegetables are tender. Stir in sauce and cook until heated through. Combine pasta with vegetable sauce in a serving bowl and toss. Sprinkle with mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses.

Per serving: calories 606, fat 12.0g, 18% calories from fat, cholesterol 19mg, protein 27.1g, carbohydrates 96.6g, fiber 7.4g, sugar 4.8g, sodium 1045mg, diet points 12.1.

----------------------------------

Angel Cake with Strawberries Chocolate
Prep: 10 min.

3 cups strawberries, hulled and halved lengthwise
4 slices angel food cake
1/2 cup chocolate fudge topping
Spoon strawberries over cake and drizzle with chocolate topping.

Per serving: calories 254, fat 6.3g, 21% calories from fat, cholesterol 5mg, protein 4.2g, carbohydrates 49.4g, fiber 3.6g, sugar 37.5g, sodium 269mg, diet points 5.4.





Some Days

Some days I wake up, my heart racing
Because for one brief moment
I heard you call for me
My mind takes me back
To those precious days
When laughter filled my ears
And I could fold you in my arms
Some days I catch myself
Staring out into the yard
Expecting to see you
Your eyes bright with childish delight
Smiling as you say to me
"Mommy look what I can do"
Some days my heart hurts
Because your gone and I'm lonely
Those days I wake up, my heart racing
Because for one brief moment
I hear you call to me
"Mommy we're here, we're watching, we love you"

Erica Woodruff
In Memory Of My Sons Daniel and Brandon







Some Links To Share

Angel Sightings, Have You Seen an Angel?
A Grieving Fathers Prayer...On Fathers Day





Like a bird singing in the rain,
let grateful memories survive
in times of sorrow.

~Robert Louis Stevenson~




Memorial Donations

In Loving Memory Of


Angel Moms Newsletter-June Printable Version

If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi

Editor: Judi,
Staff: Diana, Karen, Krista, Lynn, Laurie, Holly, Linda, Melody,

Angel Moms Web Site