Featured Mom for August is Beth Judd
Hi Ladies, The idea of being Angel Mom for August has left me a little speechless ( and that's hard to do). Thanks to Judi & Loni for the honor.I really don't know how to start, so I guess we'll start with the email I got from Judi about this. Earlier that day A music box that hadn't worked since Danny was little just started playing for no reason. I could hear 'Irish Lullaby' all over my house. Of course I cried because of this happening, I used to sing this to Danny when he was a baby. Then the phone rang and the Doctor said my first biopsy came back negative, so I had just one more on 8-2 and I should be OK.I thought Danny was sending me a message. Then I got the email about this and I knew he was up there telling me I have more life to live.
Danny is right, with the help of this group of FANTASTIC WOMEN I am for the first time in 8 years starting to have a hopeful outlook on life. On September 13, 1999 I got a call telling me my only son was in a car accident. 3 hours later I found out Danny was killed instantly when his car slid on a bend and hit a tree. He was 3 blocks from our house, he was on his way home. At 19 my son, my friend, my life and now my Angel was gone. You all know what the next hour, day, week was like. I made it through all that I was expected to do until my meltdown when they tried to close the casket.
I wish I had known about this group when I had to go through all the 'firsts'. Maybe if I had it wouldn't have taken me 2-1/2 years to go to the cemetery. Denial is a terrible thing. Then last year I found these ladies and the magic of the friendships I have made here. I have a couple Moms who have made a deep impact on me: Lyndie, who puts into words what my heart wants to say. Thanks Lyndie, I'm glad the boys are buddies. Also, Loni you can keep a secret and I thank you.
I hope that that all of you new moms find some peace here, make a few friends , struggle through your grief no matter how long it takes, help each other and realize---------- You have found a home here!
Thanks Again!
Beth
Angel Danny's Mom Forever
(The photo above was taken in Dec. 1998, it was the last one taken of Danny and I)
Should You Go First
Should you go first and I remain
to walk the road alone,
I'll live in memories garden dear,
with happy days we've known.
In spring I'll wait for roses red,
when faded, the lilacs blue.
In early fall when brown leaves fall,
I'll catch a glimpse of you.
Should you go first and I remain,
for battle to be fought.
Each thing you've touched along the way
will be a hallowed spot.
I'll hear your voice, I'll see your smile,
though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping hand
will buoy me on with hope.
Should you go first and I remain,
one thing I'll have you do:
Walk slowly down that long long path,
for soon I'll follow you.
I want to know each step you take,
so I may take the same.
For someday down that lonely road
you'll hear me call your name.
Unknown
Angel Mom Retreat 2007 I spent 5 wonderful days in Wisconsin on a Angel Mom retreat. Being with these moms is so comforting and you can feel our angel children all around us. The ladies that were there were Loni (Angel Melissa), Judi (Angel Shane) Laurie (Angel Jill), Karen (Angel Jason), Wedgie (Angel Ricky), Diana (Angel Travis), Krista (Angel Zackary), Cathy (Angel Zachary), Zana (Angel Alex), Kim (Angel Gabriel and Angel Josiah), Donna (Angel Paul), Crystal (Angel Ginni) and me Holly (Angel Tiffany). The bond you feel with each other is awesome. We had a balloon release in memory of our children and you could feel their presence there. If you get the chance to attend a retreat you will love it. Ladies that i shared retreat with this year, this retreat was so awesome and i love you all.
I see several moms wrote about the 2007 Angel Moms Retreat. I also went on the retreat and it was awesome. It is wonderful to be with others who know and share your pain, you don't have to wear your mask, you don't have to pretend. You can say your child's name without getting "the" look. We shared memories, photos and videos of our children, you come away feeling like that child was a part of your life. We laughed, we cried, we smiled and we had fun, we made some wonderful memories together. We stayed in a large cabin on the Wisconsin River, it was a beautiful and peaceful place. (You did great Loni) We took turns each night cooking in groups, Wedgie and I cooked with Karen, what an experience. LOL, we visited a cemetery and left roses with Angel Mom cards on the graves of other children, we had a water balloon fight (Loni started it), we sat around a campfire and made smores, we stayed up late at night and got up early in the morning, we didn't want to miss a moment. I shared a room with Karen, we laughed and talked late into the night, she was an awesome roommate and didn't even get mad when I took all the covers. Some of us went and got tattoos in memory of our children, I finally got my dragonfly for Shane, I don't think I could have done it without the encouragement, love and support of the other moms who were there. If not for them, I would probably only have a dragonfly eyeball on my shoulder, but I would look at them and they would smile and say "you can do it" and I did!
So many wonderful memories were made at retreat, we will treasure them forever. I can't wait until next year! I encourage any of you who can come to retreat to do it, it is an experience you will never forget.
Hope to see you next year!
Hello my Angel Mom Sisters! Well, another retreat has come and gone, and it was wonderful as always. There were tears and hugs, smiles and laughter, and way too much food! I think we all felt that our angels were there with us, and giving us many little angel hugs along the way. Several of us even got tattoos to honor our angels (it really didn't hurt – much!). Of course I can't speak for everyone who came, but I feel like retreat is the one place where I can be who I truly am, and have no fear of judgement or awkward looks. We are surrounded by women who know and understand, no matter how old our children were when they passed, or how they passed. For me, it’s like a gentle weight lifted from my shoulders, and I always return home recharged and a bit less heavy hearted. I think one of the best things we did was going to a local cemetery and putting flowers with little Angel Mom cards on the graves of children there. While it was heartbreaking to see the resting places of so many infants, young children, teenagers and young adults, it felt good to know we were hopefully offering a small bit of comfort to other grieving mothers. That is what our group is all about, and I hope it will become a regular part of retreat. If you ever get the chance to come to one, I strongly encourage you to join in. It’s an amazing experience!
Much love and hugs to you all,
Krista, angel Zackary’s Mom
Retreat 2007 is now over but the memories will be fresh in my mind for a long time to come. You might think spending 5 days with 13 women in one cabin would be pretty scary but that was not the case. We had a wonderful time as we shared our lives, our angels and started new traditions. This year’s retreat was held in Friendship, Wisconsin. It was beautiful there and we were lucky enough to enjoy good weather. For those of you who have never been on an Angel Mom retreat you should seriously think about going next year. We have our emotional moments such as when we share photos, videos and scrapbooks of our angels and talk about them and during our annual balloon release. This year we visited the local cemetery where we placed roses on the graves of children. But we also have lots of fun. This year we took a boat trip down the Wisconsin River and found lots of bargains at the town’s flea market. Sometimes we went out to eat but mostly we took turns cooking for each other. What good cooks we had! And of course we always find time for antics like water balloons and silly string fights. This was my 6th retreat and one of the best yet. I always look forward to spending time with my dearest Angel Mom friends I've met at past retreats and meeting new moms. I highly recommend retreat for the camaraderie like no other. Hope to see you next year wherever it may be.
There Goes Summer
Just when you think you might have the hang of the idea that summer is approaching, so is Labor Day. It never ceases to amaze me at how quickly the time flies. Summer is my favorite season. Yes, it is unpredictable, but so is life. You are hot one moment and freezing the next. I still do not understand why grocery stores cannot control the inside temperature. Perhaps, too many men work near the thermostat.
Matt and I spent a week in Shrewsbury, England, a beautiful town where Darwin was born and raised and where it rained almost every day and the temperature did not get out of the 60’s. We were there for a soccer tournament. The town has been around for over 1,000 years and will probably keep on for another 1,000 years. The town has managed to integrate the old with the new, something I sometimes have a struggle with in my personal life. You do not have to choose one over the other, if you plan wisely. The old remains beautiful and the modern conveniences have been added without destroying the old. Matt and his team played 6 soccer games with a combined English and American team. His team did not win, but they had fun and I think learned quite a bit. So did I. The English parents were warm and wonderful people, concerned about their children, education, immigration and how the Americans felt about a combined team. They did not seem to care about some of the things that would have driven me crazy-one boy had pink hair! Matt enjoyed the camaraderie of young men who lived thousands of miles away and thought that KFC was the greatest place to eat.
We wandered in the St. Chad’s Church graveyard, the site of the filming of one of the “Christmas Carol” films. Ebenezer Scrooge’s headstone is still there, with many others marking the graves of people who have come and gone.
I was reminded of how similar people are across the globe in their overall goals and how important it is to maintain the past, yet not sacrifice the present and future. I wished that America could better integrate the old with the new. Too often progress means tearing things down. I cannot tear down my memories of Mike and how much he meant to us, but I can build around it and make it a more beautiful place to live.
Brace yourselves! The Back to School sales have begun!
Diana's Memory Lane
Through sharing our memories
It keeps our children alive.
With each special moment remembered
They help us to survive.
As we walk down memory lane,
We always keep them near.
For they are the ones we will never forget.
The ones that we hold so dear.
Written by:Zana Maxwell-AngelMom to Alex
alexchristopher.memory-of.com
My memory that I am sharing with everyone this month is from Krista Angel Mom to Zackary: Zackery's Page
One of the best memories I have of my angel Zackary is the day he was born. He had been diagnosed prenatally with a heart defect, and he and I had both been closely monitored throughout the rest of the pregnancy. At 35 weeks we were told that he was not doing as well as the doctors would like, so they wanted to deliver him. My husband and I were terrified, not knowing what was going to happen or how much medical intervention our precious baby was going to need. I was scheduled for a c-section the day after my birthday - another fear, as I had never had a c-section before. I lay on the table waiting for the doctor to deliver Zackary I prayed more than I have ever prayed in my life. Finally, the doctor said "Here he is!" and held him up over the sheet for me to see. He was so small, only 3 lbs, but he was so beautiful. They quickly took him over to the warming bed to assess him, and that was when I heard the most beautiful sound I have ever heard - Zackary's cry. He sounded like a little kitten, but he was loud and strong, and obviously not happy to be yanked out of his previous home inside of me. I had been given steroid shots to help his lungs mature, and they worked, because he did not need any help breathing, and his apgar scores were 8 and 8! He was taken to The NICU, and once I was recovered I was wheeled down to him, and for The first time I really got to look him over head to toe. He was peaceful then, and so beautiful. The decision had been made to transport him immediately to the Children's Hospital close by, so I had precious little time with him before he was taken there. I was able to spend the time holding him and telling him how much we loved him. I remember stroking his forehead and he seemed to sigh with contentment. I didn't know what the future would bring, but for that moment, everything was wonderful.
Please send Memory to dianaandharold@bellsouth.net
Thanks Diana
Photo Box
1. Find a small box. Then cut a piece of paper the width of the box and 20 incheslong.
2. Fold paper accordion-style into 5 equal-size sections.
3. Add photos or paper cutouts to each section.
4. Glue the first section of paper into the box bottom, and the last section to the lid.
5. Let dry, and close box with paper folded inside.
Clothespin Magnet
For instructions, click here: Clothespin Magnet
Acts Of Kindness
The Act Of Kindness Award will be given to an AngelMom that was nominated for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It will not be a contest, it is "Thank You" kind of award. Anyone can be nominated. If someone has touched your heart by doing something special, please nominate them by emailing Loni. There is no exclusions, everyone is included. We will list each member that has received an Award.
Acts of Kindness for the month of July were presend to
Angel Mom's Acts of Kindness
When Grief Returns
Written by Clara Hinton | Sep 22, 2003
Grief is a tricky thing. It can wreak havoc on your emotions, especially in the first year following the death of a child. A parent can think that progress in healing is finally being made, and then something as unexpected as a song comes on the radio, and the words trigger feelings of grief as strong as if the loss took place yesterday.
After all of the “firsts” are in the past, the path to healing seems a bit more even for a while. Setbacks don’t come nearly as often as in the first year, and rarely are the grief feelings as raw and intense as during the first months following the death of a child.
Most parents work their way through the sad emotions of loss to a place where they can finally recall fond memories of times spent with their child. They can talk about their child without crying, and there is an overall feeling of peace rather than the gnawing feeling of never being at rest.
Grief can be quite deceitful, though, and show up many years after a loss leaving one feeling like healing never took place. Rather than be alarmed if grief returns, remind yourself often that grief’s visit is only a momentary appearance.
Just as we go through seasons in our lives, grief will visit each of those seasons to let us know that the loss of a child has left its mark on the heart. An especially sensitive time is when a parent enters what we so often call the “empty nest.” Grief can return as a bold reminder of what was so cruelly and unfairly taken away. A parent’s emotions can become very disturbed during this sad reminder of loss once again.
When grief returns, remind yourself often that this is a normal part of the overall healing process. The pain associated with child loss never totally goes away, so it is quite normal for certain times in our life to bring grief emotions to the forefront once again.
Remember that this return of grief will not last forever. Take good care of yourself physically. Eat well-balanced meals. Rest. Keep yourself well hydrated. Talk to your doctor if you feel like you might be entering a phase of depression. Depression is something that can be treated early, and is nothing to try to hide.
Lastly, find some support for this difficult time in your life. Even though your loss might have occurred 20 years ago, if you feel overwhelmed with sadness and grief, it is most important that you find someone who will listen and lend you support.
Remind yourself often that grief is something that cannot be ignored. Grief can be masked for a while, but eventually it makes its presence known. It is something that requires hard work and attention. A parent’s grief is a natural reaction to an abnormal event. Grief is not an illness, but rather is a time of readjustment to a reality of living with loss.
Parents who lose a child do not stop grieving. The pain will vary in intensity at different times in a parent’s life, but the process is life long. When grief returns, remember to be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time you need to once again work through your feelings.
Broccoli Cheese Soup
INGREDIENTS:
2 1/2 pounds broccoli (about 2 bunches)
1 cup chopped green onion
3 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
4 cups chicken broth
1 cup light cream or half-and-half
1 cup shredded swiss cheese
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg, freshly ground if possible
salt and pepper to taste
PREPARATION:
Cut enough broccoli florets to measure about 2 cups. Cut remaining broccoli into 1-inch pieces. In separate saucepans, cook florets and broccoli pieces in lightly salted boiling water for a few minutes, or until just tender.
Florets will take less time to cook. Immediately rinse with cold water to stop cooking; drain. Refrigerate florets until serving time.
In a large saucepan saute green onions in butter until tender; about 2 minutes. Sprinkle in flour and cook one minute longer, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in chicken broth. Return to heat and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add broccoli pieces to the broth then puree mixture in an electric blender in batches until smooth; return to pan. Just before serving, blend in cream and Swiss cheese. Simmer gently until cheese melts. Add nutmeg, salt, and pepper. Add reserved florets and heat through.
Broccoli cheese soup serves 6.
Broccoli Rice and Chicken
INGREDIENTS:
2 pounds chicken tenders or boneless chicken breasts cut in strips
1 1/4 cups uncooked converted rice
1 package Knorr's Cream of Broccoli Soup Mix
1 1/2 cups chicken broth
pepper, to taste
PREPARATION:
Place rice in a lightly greased slow cooker/Crock Pot. Sprinkle with parsley and pepper. Top with chicken pieces. Mix together the soup mix and broth. Pour over chicken and rice. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.
Broccoli Cauliflower Salad
INGREDIENTS:
1 head cauliflower separated into small flowerets
1 bunch broccoli separated into flowerets
1 red or green bell pepper, chopped
1 red onion, chopped
. Dressing:
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup vinegar
1/2 cup sugar
PREPARATION:
Mix first four ingredients together; pour dressing over and mix to blend. Make at least 2 hours in advance.
Some Links To Share
Welcome To Heaven
Sterling Silver Memorial Teardrop Sentiment Ring
Healing Jewelry for Miscarriage, Infant Loss, Fertility, Sympathy, Pregnancy and Birth
Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Rossiter Worthington Raymond
Memorial Donations
In Loving Memory Of
Angel Moms Newsletter-August Printable Version
If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi
Editor: Judi,
Staff: Diana, Karen, Krista, Lynn, Laurie, Holly, Linda,
Angel Moms Web Site
