This month's Featured Mom is Monica Games
Hi Ladies, my name is Monica Games. I am 31 years old and from Greencastle, Indiana. I am very honored to have been chosen as the featured mom of April.I became a mom on August 12, 1994 when I had my first daughter Samantha. Then on June 25, 1996 I was blessed with my second daughter Jessica. My girls have been my rock. They have really kept me going!
I became the mommy of an Angel on July 18, 1999 when my third daughter Megan was born into God's arms. She was a beautiful 7lb 4 3/4 oz girl. The reason for Megan's passing was listed as placental abruption. That day has changed my life forever.
I am so thankful that I found this group. Thank you all for all the love and support!
God Bless you all!
Monica and family
I want to leave you something.
Something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people
I've known and loved or helped
in some special way.
Let me live in your heart as well as
your mind. You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our
loved ones. By embracing them
and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.
- Unknown -
I thought since this month is was Tiffany's 6th Angelversry I would talk about the past 6 years. The first year I was in shock and kept hoping that Tiffany would come home and it was all a dream.The 2nd year I realized she wasn't coming home my heart was broken and the waves of emotions hit me everyday. The 3rd year I had to realize that I had to show my family how much they meant to me and that they meant as much to me as Tiffany does. I was learning to smile again and smile when I thought about Tiffany and remembering all the great memories we had together. The 4th year My heart was still broken and it will always be. The waves of emotions hit me a little less and I cry a little less. The 5th year. I think the 5th year was pretty hard I couldn't believe that my sweet Tiffany had been gone for 5 years. I had been on a emotional roller coaster for 5 years missing Tiffany with all my heart. Here it is, on April 29th she will be gone for 6 years where has the time gone, so much had happened in the past 6 years. My son Clint went off to college and graduated from college he has moved to Austin with his girl friend and has started a life of his own. My son Danny got married and they have a baby now. Me and my Husband are here alone again I had to go though empty nest syndrome. I have tried to do many things to try to keep Tiffany's memory alive though scholarships in her name. I have her room fixed up in memory of her, I have had a quilt made out of her clothes, I have made a memory book and this year I plan on making a garden in memory of Tiffany. Angel moms has helped me also to keep Tiffany's memory alive I know that I can talk about her anytime with all of you and I have a wonderful website that Judi made in Tiffany's memory. Thank you all you wonderful Angel moms you all mean so much to me.
The 22-28 of this month is National Crime Victims' Rights Week. It is a week to honor the victims of crime and remember them. It is also to make people more aware of crime. We see and hear about it every day on the news and read about it in the paper. For some people, they will never be touched by crime, but for others, it will change their lives forever, it did mine.....I am the mother of a murdered child, a title I never dreamed would be mine, a title I never wanted. I had never had to deal with the media, but I learned fast, I had never had to deal with the court system, but I learned that too. I learned that the court system can rip you to pieces, be cruel and unfair. I was naive, I thought if you committed a crime, you paid for it, it's not true. Shane is in a cemetery and his killer walks free. Not only did I have to learn to live with out Shane, I had to learn to live with the injustice of his murder.
Most of the time I don't think of Shane as a homicide victim, he is my son and he is gone, it doesn't matter how......but there are times that I am reminded that he was murdered, that someone held my child's life in his hands, they could choose life or death for him and they chose death.
We went to trial in April of 2000 for Shane's murder, it has been seven years now. I can still remember how it felt to sit in that courtroom and hear things no parent ever wants to hear. I can still remember hearing the jury foreman read the verdict "Not Guilty." I felt like Shane had been murdered again. For a long time I was bitter and angry, the anger was eating me up and turning me into someone I was not. I realized I had to let it go because by continuing to let it eat me up, I was letting Shane's killer take even more from my family and he had take too much already. It wasn't easy and there are times I still get angry, but it doesn't consume me like it used to.
I had been told to prepare a victim impact statement to be read at the sentencing, a sentencing that never happened, my statement was never read. Below is my statement.
Today, I am at a place I never dreamed I would be, doing something I never dreamed I would do. A victim impact statement was not something in my vocabulary. I have agonized over this, agonized over what to say. How do you put into words what the murder of your firstborn, your only son does to your life and the lives of all those around you.
In the Spring of 1977, I was a teenager, unwed and pregnant. I was faced with a decision, the decision to chose life or death for this baby. I was scared, scared of raising a baby, scared of the responsibility ahead of me, scared of it all. But I chose life for this baby and with the help of my parents and the baby’s father, on December 3, 1977, Shane was born. Almost twenty years later, someone else held Shane’s life in their hands. They had the choice to let him live or die. Adam Carrier chose death for Shane.......
By doing this, he has destroyed so much. Shane was a wonderful young man, not perfect by any means, but someone who enjoyed life, he was a son, father, brother, husband, grandson, great-grandson and a friend to many. He would help anyone he could. Five and a half months before he was murdered, he became a father to twin girls, Krista and Kristen. He loved it and he loved them. He was so proud of his baby girls and though he was young and unprepared, he was turning into a wonderful father and growing up. Not long after the birth of the twins, one day he was talking to me about them, he was trying to describe how he felt. I said it’s like you finally love someone more than you do yourself, he looked at me amazed and said, yes, how did you know? I told him because it was the way I felt the day he was born. Two weeks before he died, Krista said “da-da” for the first time, he was so proud and so happy. He never got to hear Kristen say it, Adam took that away from him. Shane never got to see his daughters take their first steps, share their first Christmas with them, or a birthday, he will never take them to their first day of school, never go to a father daughter dance with them, never be their for them when they have a problem and need him, never get to meet their boyfriends, never walk them down the isle on their wedding day, never be there when they have children of their own and would make him a grandfather. Adam took all of this away from these two little girls............Krista and Kristen don’t remember their Daddy, but they know all about him, we take them to the cemetery and they give him little gifts, pictures, necklaces, toys, cookies, suckers, send him balloons and things like that. They think this is what a Daddy is, a headstone, they call it Daddy’s rock in a cemetery where you take things to. Someday, we will have to explain to them what happened to their Daddy and why he is not here. I dread it, how do you explain to a child that to another person, their daddy’s life meant nothing, had no value, that this person thought they had the right to play God and end it, when they are no better than the devil himself?
I have told you what it has done to the lives of his daughter’s, now I will tell you what it has done to mine. It hurts, it is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I never knew you could feel such pain and live through it. I almost didn’t, I came close to taking my own life on January 17, 1998, thank God I didn’t, that would have let Adam Carrier take more from my family and I will not let him do that. I am stronger now than I was then, but I still hurt, there are times I just want to destroy things and scream with the pain, there are times that I do.......I watch my husband and my daughters hurt and see them wanting to reach out and help me even though they are hurting just as much as I am. I have seen my husband age years before my eyes, I have seen him try and control the anger and rage he has because of what Adam has done, this is coming from a man who before was quiet, controlled and easy going. I have heard the screams and cries in the night from my daughters rooms, hurting, missing their big brother. I have seen their pain and their fear, somebody murdered their brother, that means somebody could murder them, their parents or someone else they love too. Parents are supposed to be able to fix things for their children, I cannot fix this for them or for Shane. I try and take it day by day, I try not to look at the big picture or the future, to see myself living without Shane for the rest of my life is something that is so hard to do.
My heart breaks for myself, my family and Shane’s friends, my heart breaks for a lot of people. One of them is Jan, Adam’s mother, how hard this must be for her. We love our children no matter what, but what has this done to her? This is not her fault, I am sure just like I did with Shane, she loved Adam and raised him the best she could, how could she know this baby, this child she brought into the world with love would grow up to be a cold blooded killer? Nothing Adam can ever do or accomplish the rest of his life can she be proud of the way she was before, Shane’s death will overshadow any accomplishment he could ever possibly make. I know lots of people judge us by the accomplishments and failures of our children. I am asking that no one judge Jan for what Adam has done, she did not make him do this, nothing she did caused him to do this. Adam and Adam alone did this to himself, his family and Shane and his family, Adam chose this path for all of us. He must now take responsibility for what he did and pay the consequences.
Adam gave Shane a death sentence, but that is not what I am here asking for him. I have no more right to ask for life or death for Adam than he did to chose it for Shane. And as a mother who has lost her child, I could not ask for Adam to be put to death, that would be me wishing my pain upon Jan and I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. I do ask you, your Honor to please give Adam the maximum sentence you can, please give him a life sentence, just like he did the rest of us when he took Shane’s.
Hello Angel Mom sisters! The air is getting warmer (at least here in Ohio), flowers are blooming, and spring is officially here. Spring has always been my favorite season. It is a time of rebirth and new life. Now, it also serves as a reminder that time is passing. Life is moving forward even though my little Zackary is not here with us. I know he would have loved the beauty of spring, and all the colors of the newly bloomed flowers. He would have appreciated the simple joy of sitting in the sunshine and finding shapes in the clouds much longer than most of us do. Zackary was born with Down Syndrome, and that little extra chromosome that causes it also comes with the gift of a child-like innocence that never goes away. We should all be so blessed. I try each day, if just for a moment, to take in the simple joys of life. Today, I sat outside beside Zackary’s tree, a weeping cherry tree given to us by the NICU staff after he died, and enjoyed the beauty of the new blossoms, and the warmth of the sun. My heart aches knowing that Zackary would never be able to sit with me beside that tree.
So this spring, as the world around us comes alive again, even though our precious children cannot, take a moment to appreciate the simple gifts life offers us. And yes, life does still offer those gifts to us through the grief and the pain. Many times it takes a huge effort for us to see them, but they are there, and I believe that our angels are a part of them all.
Hugs and prayers to you all
Trying to Find the Best in People
My boss of two years resigned in January and was gone by February. While I have seen the best in people through AngelMoms and other amazing people, it is not always thus. Currently, many people in my office have turned to the most basic instinct of survival, many at the cost of others. I find myself falling in to the same pit; I am being critical and judgmental. I want to get back to the better part in me and in doing so, hope I can lead others to the better part in themselves.
I am no saint. My tongue can be sharp, accurate, but sharp. But those of us who have suffered incredible loss, also have benefited from incredible generosity and kindness. It is the Easter season and I am truly hoping that I can find my way to the high road.
My angel, Mike, gave me a gift he had received at school. Mike attended an all boys parochial high school. He chose this school, rather than the very good local public high school. He came home one day and offered me a “stained glass” plaque to stand on my desk. He knew I was being challenged in my office. The simple prayer inspired me then and is like a life raft now.
God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Yes, God. Please do!
We've lost our children in so many different, tragic ways and each month I try to focus on those causes or the effects of them in our newsletter. I list each of our Angels with their cause of death that I am writing about that month. I do my best not to miss anyone's name, so please help me by looking to see if your Angel is listed on the Angel Moms "How We Lost Our Angels" page at www.angelmoms.com/causes.html If your Angel isn't listed, then please send me their information, so I do not miss anyone. It's very important that each Angel is remembered.
I'm sorry for all of your losses and I'll do my best to be gentle with how you lost your child/children/grandchildren. I encourage anyone to write to me and send any information or stories they want to share to help me with my articles.
~ Love lifts Angels more so than wings. Love lights their way more so than any halo. And Love sings from within them far louder than any harp could play. ~
This month I am focusing on Drowning.
DROWNING is death caused by suffocation when a liquid causes interruption of the body's absorption of oxygen from the air leading to asphyxia. The primary cause of death is hypoxia and acidosis leading to cardiac arrest. Dry drowning occurs 10-15% of the time and is caused when water-induced spasm of the air passage prevents oxygen from reaching the lungs. Wet drowning is caused by inhaling large amounts of water into the lungs. Drowning is a silent killer. People who are drowning may not be able to call for help because they are expending all their energy to breathe or to keep their head above water. Furthermore, as water is introduced into the respiratory tract, the airway may go into a spasm, making it difficult to cry for help.
DROWNING CAUSES:
Alcohol consumption, which impairs coordination and judgment
Boating accidents
Child abuse or neglect
Diving accidents
Falling through the ice of a body of water
Fatigue or exhaustion
Illicit drug use
Inability to swim
Incapacitating marine animal bite or sting
Having no life preserver
Failure to observe water safety rules
Muscle and stomach cramps
Scuba diving accident
Seizure, stroke, and heart attack while victim is in the water
Sustaining a head and neck injury while involved with a water sport
Suicide attempt
Unsupervised swimming
*Drowning claims nearly 8,000 lives annually. It is the fourth leading cause of accidental death in the United States. For children, it is the second leading cause of accidental death for school-age children and the number one cause for preschoolers.
*Two-thirds of drownings happen in the summer months: 40% occur on Saturday and Sunday. Some 90% occur in fresh water even in states with large coastal regions. More than half of these cases occur in home swimming pools.
*One-quarter to one-third of the drowning victims had swimming lessons. Although drowning equally affects both sexes, males have a rate 3 times higher than females because of increased reckless behavior and use of alcohol.
*Children less than age 1 year tend to drown in bathtubs and buckets because they are not coordinated enough to get out by themselves when they fall in. Older children age 1-4 drown in swimming pools, while those age 5-14 years tend to drown in lakes, ponds, rivers, and oceans. The adolescents and adults tend to drown because of impaired swimming ability.
*States with the highest drowning rate are Alaska, Hawaii, Idaho, Louisiana, Montana, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oregon, and Florida. http://www.emedicinehealth.com/drowning/article_em.htm
PREVENTION:
*Avoid drinking alcohol prior to swimming or boating.
*Avoid contact with marine life such as jellyfish and coral.
*Cover or empty all large containers of water to prevent a small child from falling in.
*Check the depth of the water before diving. The Red Cross recommends a depth of 9 feet for diving for a 3 meter high board. Larger depths are needed for platform diving and cliff diving with increasing depth for increasing dive height.
*Do not have older children watch younger children because they are not trained enough or mature enough for this responsibility.
*Make sure the ice is thick enough to avoid falling through.
*Fence all pools and spas.
*Keep electrical appliances and toys away from the water.
*Know the weather conditions and location of underwater hazards before entering the water.
*Learn and observe water safety rules.
*Always wear life jackets especially on open water.
*Never allow yourself or children to swim alone or unsupervised.
*Carry a cordless or cellular phone outdoors so you can call for help.
*Take CPR and water life-saving classes.
*Watch for dangerous waves and rip currents (choppy foamy water). If you get caught in a rip current, swim parallel to shore until you get out of it, then swim toward shore.
*Someone with underlying medical illnesses such as seizures, diabetes, heart disease, severe arthritis, and dementia should be cautious about entering the water without supervision.
As with any accident, prevention is the key. If in doubt, then stay out of the water.
Children lost to drowning and water related accidents
Angel Alex (Zana M-J.) Angel Alexander (Karla S.) Angel Arthur (Susan F.) Angel Asa (Sherri R.) Angel Autumn (Michelle K.)
Angel Blake (Linda F.) Angel Bradley (Aimee B.)
Angel Chadrick (Cheryline L.) Angel Chase (Jackie R.) Angel Christopher (Beth C.) Angel Christopher (Melissa F.) Angel Clyde (Shelly L.)
Angel Damien (Jennifer B.) Angel Dustin (Reeny F.)
Angel Frank (Christina J.)
Angel Hanna (Leigh D.)
Angel Jaden (Jessica F.) Angel James (Christine M.) Angel Joe (Grace H.) Angel John (Mary F.) Angel Jordan (Beth M.) Angel Joshua (Judy F.) Angel Joshua (Melissa B.) Angel Joshua (Tania F.)
Angel Kaan (Filiz B.) Angel Kayla (Debbie W.) Angel Kedah (Danille B.) Angel Kevin (Martha J.) Angel Kira (Angela R.) Angel Kyle (Pamela R.) Angel Kyle (Sandy H.)
Angel Logan (Beverly K.)
Angel Mark (Cindi T.) Angel Mark (Julie R.) Angel Martonya (Cheryl C.)
Angel Nathan (Syrena G.) Angel Noah (Nancy S.)
Angel Reggie (Liz B.) Angel Robert (Joyce M.) Angel Rory (Serena N.)
Angel Sam (Joanna W.) Angel Shelby (Linda H.) Angel Sissy (Bonnie W.) Angel Steven (Sara C.)
Angel Taylor (Debbie S.) Angel Taylor (Lori B.) Angel TJ (Sandie M.)
Angel Wesley (Kim W-M.)
Angel Zachary (Heather R.)
Through sharing our memories
it keeps our children alive.
With each special moment remembered
they help us to survive.
As we walk down memory lane,
we always keep them near.
For they are the ones we will never forget.
the ones that we hold so dear.
Written by:Zana Maxwell-AngelMom to Alex
http://alexchristopher.memory-of.com
Diana's Memory Lane Through sharing our memories It keeps our children alive. With each special moment remembered They help us to survive. As we walk down Memory Lane, We always keep them near. For they are the ones we will never forget. The ones that we hold so dear. Written by:Zana Maxwell-AngelMom to Alex http://alexchristopher.memory-of.com Hello Moms...First time Moms and ones that have been here before. I would like to take this time to explain what Diana's Memory Lane is in case this is your first time reading the Newsletter. I started this portion of the Newsletter for all Moms to share a part of their Angel/Angels with us. I know how hard it can be on a Mom to open their hearts to Memories that they hold very dear. But I have found in my walk of grief these 2 yrs since loosing Travis that hearing from another Mom about her child sure can make that next step easier. I have gained some very dear friends here on Angel Moms and even though I have never met their Angel here on Earth I will know them when I do get to see them. The reasoning for this is they have shared with me many Memories as I have them. So this is a place I have begun so all Moms can share a Memory to help us all walk that next step. This month Crystal G has been so gracious to share her Ginni with us and for that I thank her.
I wanted to share with you all a memory of Ginni. In 2003, I had to have back surgery and was in the hospital for a week. Of course Ginni and Laurie came with Ben to visit with me, but the day I was supposed to come home, they did not come to the hospital. It was a couple of days before Thanksgiving when I got to come home. Usually every year, we would put up all our Christmas decorations a day or two after Thanksgiving so I didn't think anything differently. I just wondered why the girls had not come with Ben. When I got home, Ginni and Laurie had put up all the Christmas decorations even the tree. They said they wanted to surprise me. Well that was the best Christmas I ever had. I could not go back to work until after New Year's and my girls had given me the best gift ever. It was all Ginni's idea. They even fixed me and their dad dinner. Little did I know that would be the last Christmas we would have Ginni with us. That was just one of the ways she was so special, always thinking of others.
www.ginnimarcheson.org
Please send Memory to dianaandharold@bellsouth.net
Easter Eggs and Baskets
Instructions for basket and eggs (plus other eggs) here: Eggs and Baskets
Acts Of Kindness
The Act Of Kindness Award will be given to an AngelMom that was nominated for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It will not be a contest, it is "Thank You" kind of award. Anyone can be nominated. If someone has touched your heart by doing something special, please nominate them by emailing Loni. There is no exclusions, everyone is included. We will list each member that has received an Award.
Acts of Kindness for the month of March were presend to
Lynette Holdgrapher by Sherri Bellinger
Angel Mom's Acts of Kindness
Peach Crumb Cake
Peach pie filling makes this delicious brown sugar crumb-topped cake easy to prepare.
INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup butter (4 ounces), room temperature
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/3 cup milk
Filling:
1 can (20 ounces) peach pie filling
Topping:
1/2 cup flour
4 tablespoons butter, room temperature
1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
PREPARATION:
Grease and flour a 9-inch baking pan. Heat oven to 350°.
Combine 1/2 cup of butter and 1 cup brown sugar; beat until light. Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Combine the flour, baking powder and cinnamon mixture; add to the batter, beating slowly, alternating with the milk. Beat on low until smooth. Spread about half of the batter in the prepared baking pan. Spread the peach pie filling over the batter. Spoon the remaining batter evenly over the peach layer and spread gently to cover the filling.
Combine topping ingredients; sprinkle evenly over the top. Bake for about 45 to 55 minutes, or until the cake springs back when lightly touched in the center.
Peach Cobbler
INGREDIENTS:
1 can peaches in syrup, about 29 ounces (can size 2 1/2)
1/2 cup sugar
1 beaten egg
1/4 cup butter
few drops lemon juice
biscuit dough topping, below
PREPARATION:
Mix peaches, sugar, egg, and lemon juice. Place in a buttered baking dish, dotting with butter. Cover with a top of rolled out biscuit dough and bake at 450° until top is lightly browned. [about 15 to 18 minutes] Serve plain or with cream and sugar or hard sauce.
Biscuit Dough
1 tablespoon shortening
1 cup flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
Mix dry ingredients; cut shortening in with pastry blender or knives. Add milk gradually to make a soft dough. If too soft, add a little more flour.
Fresh Peach Cobbler with Dumplings
A microwave peach cobbler with dumplings.
INGREDIENTS:
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/3 cup brown sugar, packed
1/3 cup water
4 cups fresh peaches, peeled & sliced
1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon lemon juice
. Dumpling Batter
2 tablespoons butter
1 egg
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon sugar
1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
PREPARATION:
Filling:
Mix cornstarch and brown sugar in a round glass cake dish (must be microwave-safe). Add water; stir. Stir peaches in gently. Microwave on High (100%) for 6 to 8 minutes, stirring once or twice, or until mixture boils and has thickened. After mixture thickens, stir in butter and lemon juice. Meanwhile, prepare dumpling batter.
Dumplings:
Soften in a mixing bowl for about 10 seconds over a bowl of warm water. Beat in egg. Add flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. Beat with a wooden spoon just until batter is smooth. Drop batter by spoonfuls in a circle over hot peach mixture (about 6 evenly spaced mounds). Sprinkle a mixture of sugar and cinnamon over batter. Microwave on High (100%) 10 minutes. During the last 2 minutes of cooking, spoon hot peach syrup over dumplings. Serve warm with cream or ice cream.
The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Though you should reach out to others as you do the work of mourning, you should not feel obligated to accept the unhelpful responses you may receive from some people. You are the one who is grieving, and as such, you have certain “rights” no one should try to take away from you.
The following list is intended both to empower you to heal and to decide how others can and cannot help. This is not to discourage you from reaching out to others for help, but rather to assist you in distinguishing useful responses from hurtful ones.
1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don’t allow them to tell what you should or should not be feeling.
2. You have the right to talk about your grief.
Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief. If at times you don’t feel like talking, you also have the right to be silent.
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don’t take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don't allow others to push you into doing things you don't feel ready to do.
5. You have the right to experience “griefbursts.”
Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.
6. You have the right to make use of ritual.
The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More importantly, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you the funeral or other healing rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don't listen.
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won't be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
8. You have the right to search for meaning.
You may find yourself asking, "Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?" Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, "It was God's will" or "Think of what you have to be thankful for" are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.
Letter To Angel Moms
Hello to all of the Angel Moms. Here is hoping you all are in great health. I just thought I would share my life with all of you .So you will know no matter what comes along in life You will make it through with the Grace of God. I am 59 years old. Born in WI and married my husband Dean in March, 1966. We lost our son Douglas at the age of 13. Such a short life but so pleased God loaned him to us for that time. The day we lost him both of our sons were in a car accident. Our oldest at that time was 16. He was in the hospital in critical condition and needed pins placed in his leg and knee. He is now married with 3 lovely children. Because they are in Oregon and we are in WI .We don't see them to often. But they are very precious. Dean & I will be married 41 the 12th of March. I loved my mother-in-law so much. She was a treasure.
In 1990 I was in an accident where I lost my vision for a year. That sucked! And injured my brain,my memory,and several other things. I thought my life was over. My husband was working and going to school. He was just wonderful and did everything. Took over the chores and did his best to help me remember a lot of things. I had to go to school again to learn how to read, write and a lot of everything I didn't know how to do. We were living next door to Windy Niday, who is another Angel Mom. At that time she was 12. OOps sorry Windy I just gave your age away. The reason I write this in here is because Windy and her younger sister spent many nights with me helping me get through life. I was diagnosed with Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Disassociation. My own family disowned me and Windy, her sister and mom became my family. Because I could not see Windys younger sister would take me for walks. She made me laugh so much as she would walk through puddles of water, Into bushes etc. Not enough to hurt me but it was a fun game. I have my vision back now and am doing pretty well. I do take lot of medication. To this day Windy & I keep in close contact. She is a very Loving young lady.
Then I was in another accident at work and a 100 pounds of aluminum stripping was dropped on my head. I now have a titanium plate in my neck and no feeling in my arms or hands. But hey God wanted me here on earth yet.
Then we lost our home and all our belongings in a fire and that was extremely hard. My pictures were my most treasured items. Our Angel Dougs pictures were my most prised possessions. I became Agoraphobic, which is a fear of leaving my home. So instead of moving into a motel, my husband moved all his tools to one side of our big metal pole shed and we moved into that. Our church members and so many people around here helped to make us comfortable. We were modern day camping. We had a bed, picnic table/benches, gas grill,Porta Potty set up, paper plates. The satellite company even came and hooked up our t.v. In the garage. The phone company had a phone hooked up, and lite co. Put in temporary electric. We watched as the burnt debris that was once our home and belongings were cleared, I came to realize how lucky I was to be alive. Never mind I had to climb out a window and got stuck... Okay I am not a tiny woman. My husband was working and I was sleeping when the fire started. We have a cat named Sissi that was sleeping with me and apparently tried waking me by scratching my arms. Since I had no feeling in my arms it wasn't until she scratched my face that I woke. She saved my life and became an instant celebrity as our newspaper had her picture splashed on the front page. We had so much cat food and litter people gave us it was a long time before we had to buy any.
As of now we are moved into our new home we had built where the other one stood. Thanks to My "Daughter" Windy, My aunts and cousins I have a lot of pictures again.
I guess my reason for wanting to share all of this with you is to show no matter what we are put through in our lives, be it the loss of a child, home, belongings and ill health if we keep our faith we know if God brought us to it He will surely see us through it. So I am so thankful that Windy told me about Angel Moms. All of you helped me move on in my life in so many ways, by sharing your Angels and their lives with me.
Most of all I thank Sweet Judi, Angel Mom of Shane for her designing our son Douglas site. "Jesus Shining Star". Also special thanks to my Windy Angel Mom of Coral for all her support and love through the years. And the rest of you Angel Moms please remember how very special you are to us all. We all share in our sorrow of the past but we all know we will all meet again with our Angels and each other and that is something to look forward to.
With Love in Christ, Dora Krause
Some Links To Share
Floating Memorial Candle
Memorial Garden Stake
The Reunion Heart Pendant
Chicken Soup For The Grieving Soul (Book)
Life is short. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly,
Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never
regret anything that made you smile.
Memorial Donations
In Loving Memory Of
Angel Moms Newsletter-April Printable Version
If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi
Editor: Judi,
Staff: Diana, Karen, Krista, Lynn, Laurie, Holly, Linda, Melody,
Angel Moms Web Site
