Our Featured Mom for the month of September is Karen Miller
Hi!! I am Karen Miller and my Angel's name is Jason. I am very honored to be Angel Mom of the month. I am 48 years old and I live in Seattle, Washington. I have a twin sister Sharon and an older sister Lynda (she is also an Angel Mom). My three sons are Christopher age 26, Jason forever 22 and Travis age 23. I also have three wonderful grandsons, Alex is 4, Jason 13 months and Greg 13 months. My best friend and soul mate is Wade, whom I don't know if I could have gotten through this without him.I joined Angel Moms in March of this year. I believe I went through two years in a fog after my Jason's passing and them boom, it seemed to hit me all at once. I was talking to my cousin Evie L. who is also an Angel Mom and she told me all about you. I am so glad I have found you all, your words of encouragement and poems have helped me a lot. I want to thank you all, especially my angel sis Melody Hill, for she is the greatest. All though I don't post very much, my thoughts are always with you all.
Big Angel Moms hugs.
Country Cemetery
In a quiet country cemetery,
Where the gentle breezes blow,
Lies my son I love so dearly;
He died a few years ago.
His resting place I visit,
Placing flowers there with care,
But no one knows my heartache,
When I turn to leave them there.
Though his smile is gone forever,
And his hands I cannot touch,
Still I have so many memories
Of the son I loved so much.
His memory is my keepsake,
With which I will never part.
God has him in His keeping;
I have him in my heart.
~Author Unknown~
I want to share with all of you what I have been working on for a few months. One day my youngest daughter and I were talking. The conversation was about families and how we take things for granted. During this conversation Tenee' asked a question about one of her grandparents. I answered the question, thinking to myself ."why would she ask that"?After thinking about it more I realized she was just a small girl when that grandparent passed away. She could not possibly remember much about her grandmother. I decided I needed to leave behind a photo/scrapebook of both sides of the family for my daughters. I have gathered a lot of information online, from family members and have now started composing this book. I have included photos, a family tree chart, poems, pictures of places referring to the family and their jobs and activities. Just for instance my grandfather grew up, raised his family in southern Kentucky. He was a coal miner. I started his page with a picture of the old coal mine, a poem I found on line that described how the mines operated and what hard work it was for the men during the depression. I followed this up with pictures of my grandfather and am now working my way though his life with my grandmother and their 11 kids. In doing this my daughters will know all important things of the family. They will know birth dates, death dates, place of living and even burial on those that I know. It will give them the opportunity to get to know their family, know what their grandfather was like as a small child and young man. Its a very rewarding feeling to do this for me. To think I can give them something of their family history and allow those family members to be remembered in generations to come. And yes you guessed it...Nathan will be included in this book. His niece and nephew will never have the opportunity to know Uncle Nathan but they can read about him, see his pictures and get to know him in this book, and in doing this his memory will live on long after I am gone. If I don't do this...when does his memory die? When those that knew him are gone and no longer here..he too will then be forgotten. I hope some others will take this idea and make a family book for their future family members to have.
Here are a few links I used in researching some of my family:
Rootsweb.com
Ancestry.com
Click here: Military Records Guide
All states have a census record site as well.
If you decide to do this, think of all the small details. Schools attended, some have old records available, homestead records help track families and social security death index gives basic information. Good luck and enjoy the search.
September is Suicide Prevention Month I just wanted to pass on some information close to my heart of course, and hopefully will help some of you that have family/friends that are experiencing Depression in their families. Never once did I ever think Suicide would hit my family, but of course it did. I lost Josh 6 days after he turned 15 on November 6, 1996, to Suicide. Josh is my firstborn, so I was clueless on parenting skills. I wish I knew then, what I know now on what to look for and what to do. If so, then just maybe Josh would be here now.....but since I can't go back in time, I can watch for this in my surviving children, or help others in need. I am here for anyone that is in need of talking...:)
Teen Advice Online
An excellent online advice group for teens.
Child Suicide - Awareness, Prevention, Campaigns and Support
Lots of information on this site for any area of Suicide.
Josh's Site
The last five days here have been rough because of hurricane Katrina. Lots of places here in Louisiana are devastated, so many people are homeless and have nothing left but their lives, many lost their lives. My family was very lucky, we have some damage to our home, but it is minor and can be fixed, we have a lot of clean up work to do and were without power for almost five days. But all of this is minor compared to what others are going through.
Through this time, my family spent a lot of time together with no interruptions from TV, computers, video games and things like that. Even though we know things around us were being destroyed and we did not know what was going to happen to us, we knew we all had each other and together we would get through it. I learned what was really important in life after I lost Shane, this hurricane gave me a reminder again. We can repair anything that was damaged or replace it, the important thing is, we stood together and came through it.
I missed all of my friends who I have met on the computer and felt cut off from a lot of important people in my life. But I know all of you were out there praying for us and caring about what was happening. I appreciated all the phone calls, it meant so much to me. I know a lot of you tried to call and couldn't get through, but even though I could not talk to you, I know you were there. Thank you all.
Please keep praying for all the people affect by hurricane Katrina, so many people are in awful situations, they have lost so much and lost ones they love. And the loses continue, violence is getting bad here, people are getting desperate and doing desperate things, some are taking advantage of the devastation here and committing violent acts and taking the lives of others............please keep praying
The last few weeks have been really stressful in my own personal life, then add the horror and devastation of hurricane Katrina blasting into all of our lives, and I'm now a basket case. This got me thinking about stress. We hear it all the time how stressful our lives are today. How it causes physical and emotional problems. How it causes premature aging. UUGH!
I have come to realize some stress I thrive under. Give me a deadline to get an insurmountable of things done, and I'm a happy girl. I love the challenge. Staying up all night, pushing myself beyond what I thought I could do. Even if I fall short, I know I gave it my all, and am proud of my own personal accomplishments. That is productive stress.
There is a different kind of stress. It's not productive. It is destructive. Before lately, I've only experienced it once before. That was when Valerie was in the hospital and dying. I quit eating, quit sleeping, isolated myself, and had thoughts of ending it all. I eventually got physically sick. I came down with strep throat. I had never heard of anyone dying of strep throat, but I thought I'd give it a try. The death of a child, what could be more stressful? How about one missing for 2 weeks?
I once again visited this kind of stress when my 16 year old daughter ran away recently. I was out of my mind worried. I again couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, thinking what if she was abducted, what if she was made to prostitute, what if she was on drugs, what if she is dead too? How could I live with myself? I again became physically sick. I got a nasty bladder infection. (Don't think I'll try death by bladder infection.) This time I didn't isolate myself. I have very wonderful Angel mom friends that rallied around me and kept me sane.
Then Katrina hit. I prayed for my angelmom friends in the area, and watched, like you all, these poor people who have lost everything. I can only imagine they are experiencing the "Bad" stress. This got me thinking what is the difference in these types of stress?
I think the answer is...no control. I couldn't control Valerie's death, I couldn't control my daughter missing, and no one could control Hurricane Katrina's destruction. In this moment we turn on ourselves causing physical and emotional damage.
It's what we do with the stress now that defines us. We could let it take over and let it eat us up, or we could, now, turn it into productive stress. By taking back control and taking action. I have chosen the later. You can't bring back your child. You can't stop the hurricane, but you can educate, or donate, or find your own personal challenge to turn the destructive into productive stress. Lord knows I don't need any more wrinkles or gray hair.
TIME Well here it is September already. My how time flies! I have been thinking a lot lately about time. It goes so fast when you’re busy and need to get things done. It seems as if there are not enough hours in the day during those times. Or when we have a trip planned that we can hardly wait for. Isn’t it funny how it takes so long to get here but once it’s over, time goes so fast and pretty soon we went on our trip weeks or months ago. Remember how long it took for Christmas to come when we were kids? It seemed like a lifetime back then, but now Christmas comes too soon! But then there are other times that seem to drag. Like after you have had some kind of medical test and you are waiting for the results to come back. That can seem like forever. Or when we are anxiously awaiting a call from a loved one telling us they arrived safely at their destination. Or when we are bored at work waiting for quitting time.
After losing a child, time takes on a whole new meaning. I tend to think of past events and if they happened before or after I lost Jill. Before March 19, 2001, I wish time could have stood still. For quite a long time after March 19, 2001 time seemed to drag on and on. That first year is one of denial. I used to try to tell myself that Jill is just on a trip or away at school and will be back. Then comes the second year which some say is worse than the first. In some ways that’s true. It’s the year of reality. When it finally hits us that our kids will never be back. Next is year three, which for me was one of learning to live again and trying to enjoy life again. It was a year of emotional ups and downs, good days and bad. Now I am surviving the fourth year without Jill. I still have bad days but the good ones tend to outnumber those now.
Some of you who have suffered your loss recently, my heart goes out to you. The pain is raw and you feel like you will never be able to smile again, but you will in time. For those of you who have spent a few years like me, or several years walking this path of grief, my heart goes out to you too. Because no matter how many years pass, we will still feel the pain in our hearts. That hole will always be there, never to be filled again.
I wish us all more happiness than sorrow, more health than sickness, more play than work until we join our angels in heaven where there is no concept of time, only eternal peace, love and joy with them again!
An Unfinished Life?
I am beginning to dread the month of September. School is just around the corner for my youngest, who will be a sophomore in High School this year. I do not like Fall, because it is the prelude to Winter, my least favorite season. I am not ready for holidays to approach and yet the Halloween costumes are already in some stores. Hurricane season isn’t even over! I do not like the cold and the layers of clothes that I will be forced to wear. I do not want to worry about PSAT’s and the prep classes that go with them. I do not want to shop for the back to school supplies and I refuse to shop for any more clothes. Matt can barely get into his room as it is. And to top it all off, An Unfinished Life is coming to a theater near you this September 9th. It came to my family on May 14, 2001. The title of the movie seems to be haunting me. I want summer to keep right on going, but it won’t.
I usually believe that Mike had finished his mission. But now, with commercials for this movie coming soon, I start to wonder. What exactly is an unfinished life? I don’t think of my life as finished, but I certainly have gotten a lot further down the road than Mike. Is this a sign? Am I supposed to see something in this? And to top it all off, I followed an SUV with vanity plates down my street this evening. The license plate was “OUTOFTYM”!
There is a strong feeling of loss, welling up in my throat. I don’t know what to do about it, so I am writing this to the AngelMoms. Maybe you recognize the symptoms and perhaps you are experiencing similar pangs. I had a great summer and I do not want to let it go. Matt and I anticipated every camp and concluded last weekend with a triathlon. All of the fun has been accounted for. Now we seem to be just down to work. That can’t be true! Okay, I am slightly depressed, overwhelmed at work and wondering how to put my days, my weeks into perspective.
I guess I’ll think about it tomorrow, because right now I just can’t!
Good Night, Angel Moms!
Acts Of Kindness
Acts of Kindness for April were presented to:
Judi Walker by Donna Lynn Satterwhite
Debbie Ruttencutter by Donna Lynn Satterwhite
Shelly Hampton by Donna Lynn Satterwhite
Reeny Fitzer by Donna Lynn Satterwhite
The Newsletter Staff by Donna Lynn Satterwhite
Donna Lynn Satterwhite by Reeny Fitzer
Joanie Wedgie Harris by Reeny Fitzer
The Act Of Kindness Award will be given to an AngelMom that was nominated for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It will not be a contest, it is "Thank You" kind of award. Anyone can be nominated. If someone has touched your heart by doing something special, please nominate them by emailing Debbie. There is no exclusions, everyone is included. We will list each member that has received an Award.
Angel Mom's Acts of Kindness
Oven-Baked Apple Pancake
3 Eggs, slightly beaten
1/2 c. Milk
1 tsp. grated Lemon Rind
1 tsp. Vanilla
1/2 c. all-purpose Flour
2 tart Apples, such as Granny Smith, peeled and sliced 1/4" thin
8 tbsp. Butter, divided
1/4 c. Sugar
1/4 tsp. Cinnamon
Confectioner's Sugar for garnish
In a medium bowl, combine Eggs, Milk and Lemon Rind. Whisk in Flour until blended. Batter will be slightly lumpy. Preheat oven to 400°. Melt 4 tablespoons of Butter in 10" pan over medium heat. Add Apples and saute until tender. Place sauteed Apples in baking dish or pie pan. Pour batter over Apples, place in oven, and bake for 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine the remaining Cinnamon and Sugar. Melt remaining 4 tablespoons of Butter. When pancake has baked 20 minutes, remove from oven and quickly sprinkle with Sugar mixture and drizzle with Butter. Return to oven for 5 minutes. Serve immediately, dusted with Confectioner's Sugar.
Enjoy!
Some Links To Share
Hurricane Prayer Chain
No Tear Is Lost
Whispers From Heaven
American Red Cross - Preparing for and Responding to Hurricane Katrina
When we lose our parents we lose our past.
When we lose our spouse or sibling we lose our present.
When we lose our child we lose our future.
When we lose our parents, we are orphans,
When we lose our spouse, we are widows or widowers,
But there is no word for a parent who has lost their child........
Angel Moms Newsletter-September Printable Version
If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi
Editor: Judi,
Staff: Deb, Debbie, Kelly, Chrissi, Lynn, Brenda, Laurie
Angel Moms Web Site
