Every season which passes,
each anniversary of that day,
I look up to Our Father,
and I begin to pray.

O, Father in Heaven,
hold my baby close;
And give my child the love,
which they need the most.

Allow my child to look down
and see us here below;
May all the love we bear,
be theirs to know.

I realize that with You, Father,
my child is even more blessed;
But, it's difficult, you see,
as we do our very best.

To live each day,
without them in our view,
but I know my child is happier,
up in Heaven, with You.

Take my child by the hand, Dear Lord,
and give to it a flower.
And tell my child that we still cherish and love,
and are so happy that they were ours.

We borrowed our dear one from You, for just awhile,
savoring each moment we had;
They're all safe now, away from every harm,
and we are ever so glad.

Touch our hearts, Father,
and mend all the broken pieces.
And may the love we hold for our child,
extend to others, as it reaches,

Out to the hurting,
those who are grieving and in the same pain,
and may we feel Your mighty embrace,
as we remember once again.

May we linger safely until we, too,
cross upon the Golden Strand,
and there to greet us on one side will
be Our Sweet Jesus,
and on the other, our little Angel,
with an outstretched hand.

(c) 2001 Sandra Lewis Pringle
Greetings From The Heart And Soul
All Rights Reserved
Used with permission





It seems like this time of the year, the holidays hit us one after another. Just as we get through one, here comes another one. This month we have Thanksgiving, a time to look back and remember the things we are thankful for. Some may think they have nothing to be thankful for because their loss is so new. But there are things there and in time, they will come to light. As time passes and the pain eases some, we see things differently, we see a new us, a new perspective, we learn to live again.

I would like to share some of the things I am thank for.

I am thankful for having a son named Shane. Though his time here was short, he sure gave me a lot. As much as it hurt to lose him, I am thankful for every precious moment I had with him.

I am thankful for my family, my husband Mike, daughters Jennie and Laurie, my granddaughters Krista, Kristen, Tina and Shana and my mom. Without them, I don't know where I would be. They helped give me a reason to keep going and start to live again.

I am thankful for the friends I have, who have stood by me and helped me get to where I am today.

I am thankful for each and everyone in this group, even though pain brought us together, love, comfort and support are shared to help us survive. We reach out to each other through our pain to try and help ease the pain of another or just to say "You are not alone."

Wishing you all a peaceful Thanksgiving.





Hello dear friends! Halloween is over, and we are now heading full force into the holiday season. Whether this will be your first holiday without your angel, or you have survived many, we all can’t help but reflect on holidays past, and the holidays that will never be. Speaking for myself, I know I am truly thankful to have each of you here, and I am thankful that we all have each other to turn to in our grief.

This past summer, I shared the following story with you, but I thought it was worth repeating. No matter how long your child was with you on this earth, he or she was, and continues to be, a true blessing. I wish you all a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving.

Hugs to all,
Krista, mom to Angel Zackary

The Little While
by Darcie D. Sims

Many years ago as we faced our first bereaved Thanksgiving, I was worried. Our infant son had died in September and no one felt much like celebrating anything, let alone gathering family together to express our gratitude. Gratitude!!!! About what???? What on earth did we have to be thankful for?

Our little guy had died after a horrible battle with a malignant brain tumor, leaving us exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. There was little to spend on a lavish meal, and I did not have the energy to even think about hosting a family gathering.

But, despite our unwillingness to participate in the passing of days, Thanksgiving did arrive and we did have a small family dinner. I think the turkey was dry, the mashed potatoes lumpy and I'm not sure we even had rolls. I set the table with our best crystal and china in a weak attempt at being "festive", but the only thing sparkling during that meal were our tears.

It is a tradition in our family to have the youngest at the table say the blessing, so it fell the our five year old daughter, Alicia, to find some words of thanksgiving. I was almost glad it wasn't my task to speak of gratitude when there simply wasn't any to be found around our table! How awful of me, a grown woman, to wish such a job onto a five year old!

Alicia refused to accept her assignment. She refused in the manner of many 5 year olds and it became a battleground between mother and daughter, adult and child. She simply looked at me and said what we all felt, "What's there to be thankful for this year?"

We argued intensely, and her refusal guaranteed the silence I dreaded. I knew this year's celebration would not be survivable. Her stormy face told me to forgo the family blessing. We ate in grieving silence, each caught in our own web of stories, tears and sadness. About halfway through the meal, however, Alicia announced that she would say "something" at dessert. I wasn't sure what "something" meant, but I figured dessert was something to be thankful for!

As the pie was served, Alicia told everyone to "hold hands like the Waltons". Slowly, awkwardly, painfully, we reached across our grief and clasped hands, forming a family circle around our table. Alicia bowed her head, took a deep breath and in her five year old voice brought us the light...

"Thanks God, for the little while."

In our grief we had focused on what we had lost and worried about how we would survive another day. Alicia, with the wisdom reserved only for children, understood better than any adult around that table the gift her brother had given us and the gift for which we are forever grateful...the little while.





Friendships

Well here it is November already! This is the time of year that we all start to get ready for the holidays. Halloween is just past and before we know it Thanksgiving is here and right behind is Christmas and the New Year. It’s true what I couldn’t comprehend when I was a kid-the older we get the faster time goes. Now I know what it means. This is the time that I better start thinking about getting my Christmas list together before time gets away from me like it always does. Of course the family members are included but what about friends? Which friends do we actually buy a gifts for?

Maybe someone you work with or your team mates on the bowling league or card club. The kind of friends we buy more of a gift exchange type item. The gifts don’t cost a lot but have to be something special none the less.

There’s also those special people who make our lives easier. Like the babysitter, our hair dresser, the mailman and the one who delivers the newspaper. I consider all these people friends even though I may not really know them. The ones we may feel like giving a small token of our appreciation expecting nothing in return.

There are those friends on our Christmas card list. Those people we rarely if ever see but keep in touch with once a year during the holidays. Those people who we always say we are going to visit when we are in their part of the country and vise versa. Then nine times out of ten that never happens. Every year we exchange Christmas cards and that’s as far as it goes.

Of course I couldn’t forget all the special friends we meet on line. I’m sure most of you are like me. I’ve met lots of friends on line, some I am closer to than others and that’s OK. It never ceases to amaze me how well we can get to know each other just by how we type on our keyboards in front of us. We can become close without ever meeting face to face.

Then there are those special friends we have the closest bond with. Usually the kind we only have a very few of. The kind that I take great care and pick a very special gift especially for them because I know their likes and dislikes. I will probably spend a fair amount of money, shop around for the perfect item I’m sure they will love or better yet, make something from the heart. These very special friends are the sisters I never had. The ones that can stop by any time and it doesn’t matter that you didn’t have time to clean. They don’t judge you, they just love you for who you are.

The point I am trying to make is take a little time to think about who your friends are and what they mean to you. Thank God they are in your life. Pick up the phone and call one of them you haven’t talked to in a long time and renew that friendship. Maybe you and a friend have had a misunderstanding. Patch things up. Tomorrow may be too late.

“We are all angels with only one wing. We can fly only embracing each other”





Guardian Angel

It is not the destination that is important, it is the journey. I do believe that there are guardian angels watching over us on our journey. This was driven home on October 22, as my son Chris and six other college seniors were honored. This is their last season as Division I college athletes. This journey is almost over. All seven seniors and their families were honored in an emotional ceremony. Each athlete and family was introduced on the field, while their picture was on the stadium screen and their bio was read. Each athlete was escorted by their family through an honor guard of their teammates, congratulated by their coaches, presented with a game ball, signed by their teammates. Although it had been raining most of the day, it managed to stop during this pre-game ceremony.

Out of the seven senior athletes, my son was the only one to play all four years at the same school. Listening to his bio, things I took for granted and even expected, I realized that I had a new found respect and admiration for my son and all he has accomplished. He had never complained about getting up for 6am practices, having to change classes because of unforeseen conflicts, changing coaches and the egos of other teammates.

He leaned over to me on the field after I was presented with a bouquet and said, “I just wish Mike were here.” All I could say was, “He is.” He has no idea of the number of times I prayed to Mike to help him through all of the challenges of being a Division I college athlete, including 15 of his teammates being suspended one week before the first conference game this season for drinking. Chris and 10 other players were left to hold down the fort. They tied the game 2-2, Chris scoring both goals. They played 90 minutes of regulation play and two additional overtime periods of 20 minutes for a total of 110 minutes.

I do believe Mike is here and doing what is in his power to help Chris. The soccer team plays the semifinal game of the America East Conference playoffs on November 9th and I do hope Mike can be there. I would like to see Chris go out with a bang and I know his brother would too. Mike is our Guardian Angel.

Happy Thanksgiving, AngelMoms! I do have a lot to be thankful for.





Welcome Banner



Materials Needed:
Tulip® Dimensional Paint
65080 Gun Metal
Tulip® SoftTM Brushable Fabric Paint: (BI15784 Glacier White- BI15787 Mandarin Orange- BI15798 Olive- BI15800 Chocolate- BI15827 Golden Tan)
Aleene's® Original Tacky Glue®
Miscellaneous
Fabric Banner
Fibers or narrow ribbon to coordinate
Large Round Brush
Contact paper
Sponge, makeup
Masking tape
Graphite paper
White 8-1/2” x 11” poster board or heavy paper
Pencil
Foam plate
Dowel

Instructions:

For best results, please read all instructions before beginning project. Refer to photo for color and design placement.

1. Print out pattern pieces.
2. Freehand the word “Welcome” 4-5” from bottom of banner. Use brush to fill in letters with Olive.

3. To create the shape for the wreath above “Welcome,” lightly pencil a large circle. To create stencil, trace leaf pattern onto Contact Paper. Cut on inside of lines. Leave at least 2” around outside of design. Press stencil in place making sure all sides are pressed to fabric.

4. Squeeze puddles of Golden Tan, Olive, Mandarin Orange and Chocolate onto a foam plate. Tap sponge into Olive paint. Tap onto open areas of stencil. Move stencil around the penciled circle in different angles to create wreath design.

5. Apply Golden Tan, Manderin Orange and Chocolate with stencil placing between the Olive colored leaves. Stencil partial leaf images along top of banner. Stencil two leaves below “Welcome.”

6. Stencil six leaves on poster board. Cut out. Use Aleene’s® Original Tacky Glue® to attach fibers or ribbon and tie leaves to each of the ends of the dowel.

7. Use Espresso Dimensional Paint to outline and highlight a few leaves and the word “Welcome”.

8. Complete the wreath by filling in around the leaves with a branch using Chocolate. Outline with Gun Metal Dimensional Paint.



JUST FOR TODAY FOR BEREAVED PARENTS
by Vicki Tushingham

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours and not expect to get over my child's death, but instead learn to live with it just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my child's life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child, for they are hurting too, and perhaps we can comfort each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world I could have done to save my child from death, I would have done it.

Just for today I will honor my child's memory by doing something with another child because I know that would have made my own child proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship to another bereaved parent, for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking, I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving and the only reason I hurt is because I had the privilege of loving so much.

Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and to have had my child I had for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.

Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did, my life did go on, and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.



Acts Of Kindness



Acts of Kindness for September were presented to:

Monika Hedglin by Judy Blackburn

The Act Of Kindness Award will be given to an AngelMom that was nominated for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It will not be a contest, it is "Thank You" kind of award. Anyone can be nominated. If someone has touched your heart by doing something special, please nominate them by emailing Debbie. There is no exclusions, everyone is included. We will list each member that has received an Award.

Angel Mom's Acts of Kindness



Holidays of Sadness
by Brigitte Synesael

When you have lost someone very dear to you, the most difficult obstacle to cross is getting through the holidays. Surviving the days where everyone around you is celebrating and spreading good cheer, while your mind is filled with memories and your heart is heavy with loneliness. It’s difficult just making it through what used to be the happiest days that were once shared with a soul mate, and today carries only emptiness. The greatest challenge is to remain in the company of others who love you, when you really want to be alone with your sadness.

It makes no difference whether the loss took place last week, several months ago, or even last year. The holidays always send those deep emotions flooding right to the surface.

Just as how you deal with grief is personal and individual, so is the way you handle the holidays. Remember to be true to yourself, and don’t take on too much responsibility. Let people know that your plans may be subject to change, and you can’t make long term commitments just yet. Be honest with yourself and with your friends and family about how you’re feeling.

Some people find it best to start new traditions, because the past ones hold memories too difficult to deal with. Talk with your family about setting expectations. Plan together any modifications you will all make to the “normal” holiday festivities. You may want to have a church service dedicated to the memory of your loved one. Or make an annual donation in his/her name. Perhaps join the Hospice Tree Lighting ceremony. Bring joy to another child by purchasing a special toy for the Angel Tree in memory of your child.

It’s a great idea, for both you and your family, for you to write a letter to them asking for their understanding. There is a terrific example of this at the following Web Site: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Woods/4671/holidays.html. I encourage you to take a look at it.

Be honest about how you’re feeling, but when ever possible, try to include a positive twist into your thoughts.

Instead of : “I miss my beloved so much, there is no Christmas without him/her.” try “I do miss my beloved. Christmas will be different this year, but I will try to enjoy it.”

Instead of: “I HATE this time of year. I can’t wait until it’s over.” try “This is a difficult time of year for me. But it does give me an opportunity to become closer to my family and friends.”

Some people heal best by helping others. Try volunteering at an organization who help people with a greater need than yours. i.e. A soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, orphanages, etc. Often the best therapy is helping others. Aside from the obvious benefits of keeping your mind occupied and seeing that there are others in worse situations than yourself, charity work gives you a tremendous feeling of fulfillment. It can give you a renewed sense of purpose, so important during times of sadness.

Above all else, give yourself permission to enjoy yourself, to laugh, and to find peace. Each of these things are part of healing. Your life will never be the same, but it will go on, and it can still be good. I want you to close your eyes for just a moment. Bring into the room with you the clearest image of the person that you have lost. Now say “I love you and I miss you. You will always be in my heart. I need to know... is it okay for me to be happy again?”

Now, imagine the answer that you receive. If you remember your loved one in their true light, I’m confident the answer will be YES. Find peace over the holidays, and be good to you.





Turkey and Stuffin' Soup

4 to 6 cups prepared stuffing
1 tablespoon (1 turn around the pan) extra-virgin olive oil
2 medium carrots, chopped, up to 2 cups of leftover baby carrots, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 onion, chopped
Salt and pepper
1 bay leaf, fresh or dried
2 quarts chicken stock
1 1/2 pounds light and dark cooked turkey meat, diced
A handful of flat leaf parsley leaves, chopped
1 cup frozen peas or leftover prepared peas, optional

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and transfer stuffing into a small baking dish. Place dish in oven and reheat 12 to 15 minutes, until warmed through.

Heat a pot over moderate heat and add extra-virgin olive oil. Work close to the stove and add vegetables as you chop. If you are using fresh carrots, cut them into a small dice or slice thin. If you are using leftover baby carrots, cut carrots into bite-size pieces. Add celery and onion and lightly season vegetables with salt and pepper. Add bay leaf and stock and bring liquid to a boil by raising heat. Add turkey and reduce heat to simmer. Simmer until any raw vegetables are cooked until tender, about 10 minutes. Stir in the parsley, and peas, if using.

Remove stuffing from oven. Using an ice cream scoop, place a healthy scoop of stuffing in the center of a soup bowl. Ladle soup around stuffing ball. Your soup will look like a chunky matzo ball soup. Pull spoonfuls of stuffing away as you eat through your bowl of soup.





Sissy's Hugs

The days were busy, the nights were long,
but you were never alone.
Sissy was there to love, kiss and keep you safe,
through all her hugs everyday.

By your side she always stayed,
through thick and thin, whether night or day.
She was your mainstay when times were tough,
with a hug for you each and everyday.

In her heart you'll always be,
and forever more will remain.
She loved you then, she loves you now,
still hugging you after you've gone.

She just can't quit hugging after all this time,
this was her right, her worldly divine.
So stay close to her now and let her know,
you still feel her hugging you so.

She loved you then as she loves you now,
never forgetting the bond you's found.
May that always stay, be as it was,
She needs to always give you a hug.

To Mike in Honor of His Sister's Love
Written by Moma Bear; Judy Blackburn



Some Links To Share

Angel Sunrise
Memorial Locket Pendant
Until We Meet Again Memorial Ring





"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal"



Angel Moms Newsletter-November Printable Version

If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi

Editor: Judi,
Staff: Kelly, Krista, Lynn, Brenda, Laurie

Angel Moms Web Site