This month's featured mom is Lynn Scarpati
My name is Lynn Scarpati and I am so honored to be the AngelMom of the month. I was born in New Jersey but by the time I was two, my family had been transferred to Jacksonville, FL. My brother and my sister were born in Florida. Eleven years later we were being transferred to Massachusetts, where we lived in a suburb and my Dad commuted to Boston. I guess because I had made large moves and had never lived near family, going to LSU in Baton Rouge did not seem as unusual as it did to my classmates. I met my husband-to-be, a New Yorker through and through, and an accountant, while I was home on a semester break. At first we were just friends, but love did bloom. We were married two years later and started life together on Long Island. Traveling is a very important part of family life.We are the proud parents of four great boys, Adam, Michael, Christopher and Matthew. I have always worked full-time at The Mount Sinai Medical Center, located in Manhattan, first in Finance and later in the Development Office. It has been a challenge juggling the commute, career and motherhood. Sometimes I marvel at myself, but most of the time I feel that I come up short. No one ever told my generation we couldn’t do it all! Adam, 30, is a CPA and has a Master’s degree in Taxation. He is the only brown-haired, brown-eyed son. He is engaged to Gabrielle and we just love her. Finally, there is another girl around! The rest of my sons have blue eyes and red-hair-all in varying shades. Christopher, 20, is a junior at Stony Brook University. He is on an athletic scholarship, which helps. My youngest is Matt, 14, and a freshman in High School, but wise beyond his years.
Then there is my heartbreak and the reason I am an AngelMom and connected to the month of January. Mike was born January 3, 1981 at 9 lbs, 12 ½ ozs. He was born happy and embraced life from the moment he was born. He never had to be coaxed to smile. His laugh was infectious and he gave bear-hugs that emptied your lungs. He loved people and had a knack for being able to talk easily to everyone and anyone. He was an excellent athlete, graduated from Chaminade High School and was offered a scholarship to Bryant College in Rhode Island and a spot on their soccer team. He had a wonderful year, but enjoyed the social life more than the classroom, so we brought him home. He enrolled in the local State University, with the expectation that a solid academic performance would send him back to Bryant with his parents blessing. That was not to be. Mike, now 20, had finished the spring semester classes and was looking forward to sleeping in on Monday May 14, 2001. Mike was awakened by Matt, who had missed the school bus and needed a ride. Mike, who could never say “no”, drove Matt to school, grumbling all the way about his only day to sleep, but finally smiled and said, “See you later, Matty!” Chris came home from high school that afternoon, looking for Mike. They had plans. He found Mike slumped against a wall in the bathroom, blue. He dialed 911 and he phoned my husband and me. Before my husband could get to my office to pick me up, Chris was on the phone crying that Mike was dead and the police officer wanted to talk to me. The coroner insisted on an autopsy, the report from which took about five months to be complete. Mike died of a heart condition, which we never knew existed. The funeral home was packed with people, many I had never met before. Many had stories to tell us. It became clear that Mike had touched many more lives than we knew. I cried or was numb for quite a few weeks. Then a colleague brought me a tape of John Edwards’ Crossing Over. I began to watch the show, tears streaming down my face for at least 45 minutes each night. One night John Edward mentioned AngelMoms. I joined AngelMoms late in 2001 and cried over just about each post. Then, I began to laugh over some. Through this supportive group of understanding women, I have learned that you can live with pain. It will never go away, but I am living again.
We established a scholarship in Mike’s memory and each year for the past three years two $1,000 scholarship awards have been presented. It is a joy to meet the recipients each year and their proud families. In addition we underwrite a goalkeeper showcase for college seniors and college coaches, with the hopes that this exposure will match student-athletes with programs. We hope Mike would have approved.
In 2004 I vowed to try to become the “me” I was before we lost Mike. I ate out of control after Mike’s death-not right away-it started gradually. You cannot ease pain by making yourself fat or using other self-destructive behavior! I have lost over 30 lbs this year and I am exercising on a regular basis. I have run in several sponsored runs, which have been very exciting. I am trying not to postpone pleasures, because life can be so unpredictable. I am still far from perfect…I am noticing now that I never was. But, with a little help from my friends, I can be a better person, for my family, for MY friends and most of all for me. My health has become a priority as I try to set good a good example for my family. I want to be around a long time for them. A void was created when we lost Mike, but I am truly blessed to have the wonderful family I have.
For more information on the condition that took Mike from us and has taken many young athletes all too soon, click on www.arvd.com.
Should You Go First
Should you go first and I remain
to walk the road alone,
I'll live in memories garden dear,
with happy days we've known.
In spring I'll wait for roses red,
when faded, the lilacs blue.
In early fall when brown leaves fall,
I'll catch a glimpse of you.
Should you go first and I remain,
for battle to be fought.
Each thing you've touched along the way
will be a hallowed spot.
I'll hear your voice, I'll see your smile,
though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping hand
will buoy me on with hope.
Should you go first and I remain,
one thing I'll have you do:
Walk slowly down that long long path,
for soon I'll follow you.
I want to know each step you take,
so I may take the same.
For someday down that lonely road
you'll hear me call your name.
Author Unknown
We thought since this was a new year and we have so many new members, we the Newsletter Staff would introduce ourselves.
Hi, I'm Brenda. I am mother to my wonderful daughter Dawn who is turning 30 on October 2 and my sweet son, Angel Scott who will be 24 forever. I am Grandmother to cute, fun and fast Logan who is 13 months, and I also have the priviledge of being a 'like mom' to my niece Dee who was born 12 days after Scott and Gamma B to her 2 adorable children, Beau (turning 4 on September 26 and Gracelynn Scott who will be 15 months soon.) I have the greatest husband in the world, Chris, who is step dad to my kids. We have been together for 15 years and married for 13 years. He is my third hubby (gasp, how did that happen LOL, third times a charm?) and the best of the lot!I am a Colorado native, born and raised in the foothills outside of Loveland, Colorado and was lucky enough to raise my 2 great kids there, we moved to Longmont (30 miles south) about 8 years ago as my husband had gotten a job in Denver and it was closer for him. I babysit my grandson Logan (he is the best medicine!) while my daughter works and have had my own candy wrapping and basket business for about a year and a half.
I have a wonderful and blessed life except for one thing, my son Scott passed away on April 28, 2001. Scott was in an accident about 1:30 pm that day and we were at the hospital by 2. The ambulance had him at the hospital by 1:50, 2 doctors started to work on Scott to stabilize him and address the internal bleed they felt he had. The head ER doctor came in, told them to stop that they would ship Scott to Denver by helicoptor. The doctor told us at 2:30pm that the helicoptor was already called and never mentioned the internal bleed, he said Scott would be in surgery for about 5-6 hours and home in about 3 weeks. Chris and I started talking about how we would get a hospital bed etc for his return to our house.
I was able to see Scott for about an hour before he passed, no one was working on him, they were only monitoring him and letting him suffer in extreme pain. He would go in and out of consciousness and when he would look up at me with his big brown eyes I would tell him 'I Love You' and we are all heading to Denver soon, that he would have surgery and be home in 3 weeks. He couldn't speak because of intubation but he would look around at me and the others then go in and out of consciousness. One time when I told him I love you, he shook his yes at me and a big tear rolled out his right eye and down... I will never forget that moment. The helicoptor arrived at almost 4 pm and when Scott was loaded out he went into cardiac arrest from exsanguination on the helicoptor before they could even take off. The doctor had to be called out and he sauntered back my husband and me and said 'well now I guess I have to operate on him' ... he acted like we had ruined his afternoon. Scott was pronounced dead at 5:17 pm that day... I miss him every day, most of every day...
We found out since then that Scott was unstable but not critical when he came in, a bed side blood stat at 3:32 pm showed that he was unstable and life threatening bleed out. The doctor called for the helicoptor at 3:43 pm... 11 minutes after Scott showed life threatening bleed out and an hour and almost 15 minutes after he told us they had already called for the helicoptor. After having all the records investigated it was found that Scott would be alive if the doctor had done a laparoscopy and renal artery clamp. It is believed that the doctor didn't want to treat Scott because he had just changed jobs 30 days prior and didn't have any insurance coverage at that time. The hospital he was sending Scott to takes indigent patients. We are in the middle of taking the doctor to court, Scott should've never been treated this way and I don't want any other family to lose someone because of this doctor.
I found AngelMoms about a month and a half after that and I really don't think I could've survived if it wasn't for Judi, Debbie, Deb, Gigi and Coone who were some of the first ladies I met.(please forgive me if I forgot someone from the beginning) I have gotten to know so many many more wonderful moms since then, unfortunately for the same tragic reason I came here too. I did drop off line for awhile after the first year Scott passed, I was suffering from severe depression and just trying to fight it, I then got some medications and it did help with the the severe depression, I still miss Scott everyday and talk to him all the time, but medication isn't ever going to take away my longing for my son, as we all know.
Even tho I miss him, I know that Scott is doing well and I will see him again, till then, my days with my loved ones here are numbered and I know that I shouldn't waste a one of them. When I see Scott it will be a wonderful reunion and I can't wait to get one of his big ole bear hugs :oD
Greetings from Washington State ~
My name is Chrissi and I am married to my husband of 14 years. His name is Bobby and he is a Radiology Technician at our local hospital. I met my sweet hubby when I was 17 and working at a Pizza place . I had a major crush on this older guy of 20 years of age , lucky for me he had a crush too and lucky for me that my parents thought he was a great guy as well! We were married 5 years later and had 2 children early in our marriage those being our sweet boys, Zachary and Tyler. I am a special education pre-school teacher and I love my job, I can honestly say that working with children has been very helpful for the healing of my heart.
About our boys :
Our Zachary is 13 and a sweet boy but he's becoming a young man. He's starting to care what he looks like and what other's think of him . Especially girls. He's very handsome and I am very biased. Zach loves to ski, snowboard and ride his horse. He is very talented artistically. Zachary misses his brother so very much . He's done very well though and is a great deal of support for us, without it being obvious. Zach is very strong in his faith and we are so very very proud of him. God has blessed me with such an outstanding young man. Our Angel Tyler : Tyler was the happiest, funniest, sweetest little boy. He loved life to it's fullest. He had
the most vivid imagination and could tell you the biggest fish tale you would ever hear. His laughter - oh it was so contagious, the laugh started way down deep in his sweet belly. His cheeks - very yummy cheeks. The kind you can smooch and smooch and smooch. Tyler was born with a genetic disease that pre-disposed his body to leukemia. Tyler underwent 2 bonemarrow transplants by the age of 5, our little fella fought so hard. Tyler is our sweet little hero. Tyler passed away on September 15,2000 while his Daddy and I sang Baby Beluga softly to him as he took his last breath.
Tyler taught us so much - how to persevere - how to laugh and love life, how to go on - even when facing the worst possible pain. That is why it is so important to us to do for others, in memory of our precious little bubba.
I am another quiet Mom on the list - I do think of everyone daily and pray for each of us and the healing of our hearts.
Hello My name is Debbie Goldsberry.
I live in Florida and am married to my husband of 31 years. His name is John and he is a contractor. John and I met when I was 16, he was 18. We married a year later and had three children. Our oldest will be thirty in June and her name is Hope. Hope made us grandparents 18 months ago when she brought Saige Dakota into our family. Saige is my whole world. My son would be 27 years old this year, but in my heart and world he will always be 13. We lost Nathan when he was 13, along with a friend of his he was kidnapped and murdered in 1992. Our youngest child is Tenee', she will be 21 in a week and is finishing up her Masters degree in nursing. I grew up in Louisville, Kentucky and moved with my parents when I was 15 to Columbus, Ohio where I met John. After we were married the economy was so bad in the area we were living in, when Hope was a few months old we had moved to West Virginia, that we moved to Florida. John went to contracting school and I went to work in retail. I worked as a retail store manager for 14 years and retired two years ago to stay at home and care for Saige when her Mom returned to work. I have been in AngelMoms for a long time, although I am what I consider a silent member most of the time. I met Judi online several years ago, she was going through the process of the trial for her sons death and I had already been through it. We found a common bond and have been friends ever sense.
I am Debbie, Mom to Angel Josh. I am also Mom to Jake who is 16 1/2 and Brittany who is 15. I live in Tennessee and am very happily married to a man that God sent directly to me, Alan, my second husband. Alan and I were only married 6 months when Josh passed. Josh is my firstborn child, my precious Angel now. Josh turned 15 on Halloween, October 31, 1996, and six days later took his own life. My life forever changed that afternoon. What I took for granted, a normal life, is a different kind of normal now. Normal to me now would be that I would have all 3 of my children with me. My normal now is raising my 2 teens and forever finding ways to cope without Josh in my life. Josh would now be 23. Something I cannot comprehend because he is forever 15. I am basically a stay at home Mom, running a daycare out of my home. Before, I was a Manager of a company, I had 15 employees I took care of, and ran 3 stores. I tried to go back to that environment, but couldn't do it and had to resign. My heart was no longer able to do that. I worried too much about my surviving children, whom were only 6 & 8 at the time of their brother's passing. I think back about how much has changed since that day. I am no longer who I was before. I am a different person, a different wife, mother, daughter, aunt, friend. I do not take for granted anything. I do not sweat over the little things in life. I pick my battles. My family comes first, always. My surviving childrens' emotional growth is most important to me. I cannot begin to imagine how they feel because I have not lost a sibling. I just hold them when they are hurting. I do not hide my tears. We do things now in memory of Josh that helps us all. At Christmas we have our Suicide Memory Tree outside our home that has victims names of suicide. I talk to teens, my children know that they can tell me of anyone that needs to talk and I will talk with them. My children are advocates of depression and suicide in their circle of friends. My children are leading a life that I wouldn't have picked for them personally, but they are doing very well, thank God. Being in Angel Moms and helping there is something that helps me also. I have been blessed to have met many of these Angel Moms. Judi, my dearest of all friends is my first Angel Mom I had ever met, quite a few years ago, and my life changed more than I could have imagined. Together, her and I have went further than we ever could have apart. I know our sons, Shane and Josh personally put us together for a reason. Angel Moms is that reason. Jake and Brittany
Hi, I'm Judi, I am the founder of Angel Moms. But I couldn't have done it without Debbie and and a lot of other moms.
I live in Louisiana, I was born and raised here and still live in the town I grew up in. I am married and have been for 21 years to a great guy named Mike. And that's pretty good considering we married 4 days after meeting each other. I am a stay at home mom. I have three children, Jennie is 20 and Laurie is 14, my son Shane is forever 19. I have twin granddaughters by Shane, Krista and Kristen who are 7 and a half.
I lived a pretty normal life and thought I had it all until Oct. 27, 1997 when my world was shattered. Shane was murdered. Everything changed! I thought murder happened to other people or was something I heard about on the news, but now I was one of the "other people." I went to support groups and to counseling, I was even hospitalized a few months after I lost Shane. I felt so alone........ About 4 months after losing Shane, we got a computer and I got online. My life changed, I searched for help and for others who understood my pain, I found Debbie.....Debbie became my life line, my mentor, my friend.......then I met Deb, the first mom who I knew that had lost her son the same way I lost Shane and she also became my friend and inspiration, I had people who understood and cared! And then I met other moms, I was no longer alone!
I became involved in a small e-mail group of women who had lost children and we called ourselves Angel Moms. Other moms would find out about the group and wanted to join. But some members wanted to keep the group small and private, so I thought about creating a group that all moms could join and get the support they needed. I asked Debbie to help me. And Angel Moms was born, we started out with about 14 members and today we have over 300. Angel Moms has went beyond what I thought it would. My heart breaks as each new mom joins and I am so sorry you have a reason to belong to a group like ours, but I am glad you find your way to us, because the only way to survive this pain is by "Surviving together....."
I collect dragonflies (I feel they are a connection between me and Shane), I also collect teddybear angels and boys angels. For Christmas my daughters gave me a black and white Cocker Spaniel puppy, I named her Angel. This is my very first dog and I am nuts about her!
My Girls
Lynn is our Featured Mom for this month, you can meet her by reading her article there.
Hi, Everyone! I'm Carin (aka The Toad or toad). I've been a member of this Angel Moms group for about 3 1/2 years now.My Angel is Timmy. I lost him 33 years ago due to Hyaline Membrane Disease (now called Respiratory Distress Syndrome) and Intra-uterine growth retardation. He lived for 14 hours, one of which I was able to hold him. I am the "Keeper of the Dates", which means that I'm the one who does the daily postings for Angel Dates and Angel Mom birthdays.
I have been married to Dale for 35 years, have two daughters, Theresa and Heather (Wart). Because of these girls, I'm blessed with 5 grandsons, Skyler, Jonathan, Matthew, Jace and Seth.
I am originally from Central New York State, but now reside in Richmond, Virginia.
I collect Stephen King novels, boy angels and "life-like" baby boy dolls. I operate an in-home daycare (Carin4U) with daugher Theresa, and we currently have 12 children. It makes for a very busy day, but it allows me to stay at home.
Acts Of Kindness
Acts of Kindness for December were presented to:
Debbie "Doodles" Shadduck by Debbie Ruttencutter
Martha Johnson by Jennifer Medina
Michele Rudolph By Debbie Blantz
Judi Walker by Debbie Blantz
Carol Carico by Debbie Blantz
Reeny Fitzer by Debbie Blantz
Loni Wendt by Debbie Blantz
The Act Of Kindness Award will be given to an AngelMom that was nominated for their kindness and thoughtfulness. It will not be a contest, it is "Thank You" kind of award. Anyone can be nominated. If someone has touched your heart by doing something special, please nominate them by emailing Debbie. There is no exclusions, everyone is included. We will list each member that has received an Award.
Angel Mom's Acts of Kindness
The first book is picked out and I'm ready to read and have some nice discussions...How about all of you?
Here is our first selection..."The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants" by: Ann Brashares. The story is about four friends, a pair of pants and a summer apart. This book is funny, uplifting and moving, it was on the New York Times bestseller list. I purchased this book at Target for $8.00, it is in paperback. I'm sure that your local library will have this book also.
At the end of this book is a reading group discussion guide which I thought would be good for when we have our first discussion. I will give everyone 2 weeks and then we will have our first discussion in the Angel Mom chat room or we could do a chat room from our yahoo instant messenger. Then at the end of the month, we will have another discussion and at that time I will tell you what our next book will be. I hope that this book will be a good read for all of us.
Remember if you have read or saw a book that you like and would like to see that book as one of our selections please e-mail me.
Enjoy and Happy reading!!!
Luv ya,
Debbie Doodles
adshadduck@earthlink.net
New Years Blessing As you go through the days of the year ahead, busy with all the responsibilities the world has placed upon you, Remember to keep the truly special things in mind. Keep things in perspective: Work, play, learning, living. Have happiness as a part of your priorities! Be creative and aware and wonderfully alive. And always remember where to find your smile. New journeys await you in the coming year. Decisions lie ahead, wondering what you will do, where you will go, how you will choose when the choices are yours. Work for the ability to choose wisely, to prosper, to succeed. Let the roads that you travel take you to beautiful places, and have the faith it takes to achieve and aspire. I hope your tomorrows take you to the summit of your goals, and your joys take you even higher.
~by Douglas Pagels~
Chicken Roll Ups
You will need:
: as many boneless, skinless chicken breasts you want to make
: a slice of ham per chicken breast
: mozzarella cheese
: flour, salt and pepper
: oil to fry chicken in (or use deep fryer)
: toothpicks
Heat your oil (or deep fryer). Wash your chicken breast, roll out flat and put a piece of ham and sprinkle some cheese onto it. Roll it up and close with toothpicks. Will be bulky. Use small amount of ham and cheese if too bulky. Roll in flour, salt and pepper mixture. Fry as normally frying chicken, on low. Drain on paper towels and eat!
Some Links To Share
I'm Still Here
Always With Me
A Mother's Grief
Story of a Butterfly
Debbie's Clayground - Angels Gallery
Remembrance of Our Loved Ones
Angels come to help and guide us in as many guises as there are people who need their assistance. Sometimes we see their ethereal, heavenly shadow, bright with light and radiance. Sometimes we only feel their nearness or hear their whisper. And sometimes they look no different from ourselves - until their work done, they leave suddenly, quietly, with only a hint of halo or a wisp of wing behind to make us wonder.
Eileen Elias Freeman
Angel Moms Newsletter-January 2005-(Printable Version)
If you have something you would like included in next months newsletter, please e-mail Judi
Editor: Judi,
Staff: Toad (Carin), Deb, Debbie, Kelly, Chrissi, Lynn, Brenda
Angel Moms Web Site
