When AngelMoms email group was first started it was just a few online friends that decided to email back and forth for support and such. Then as time went on, we realized there was a real need to branch out to be available for other Moms like ourselves that are searching for support, acceptance and understanding. Thus what started out as around 11 members, has grown to almost 200 members. Some of us have been friends for years now, some of us have met in person, so we have the advantage of knowing each other personally and knowing each other's personalities. We felt that since the group has grown and we now have new friends that we are in the process of knowing, and them knowing us, we thought we were in need of some guidelines for the whole group. Any group this large needs some basic guidelines and it is not to point fingers at anyone. It is meant for everyone here.
With so many members that means a lot of Angels in Heaven, too many of course, but each of these children passed in many different ways, different ages. Some have memories of our children, some don't have that advantage. Some losses were years ago, some as recent as this year. That means that some of these Moms cannot feel they can even smile, let alone laugh again. Some of us Moms that lost our children years ago, never thought we would again either, but we have, and we hope to give encouragement to the ones that feel they aren't capable of it yet.
We are here not to judge, reprimand or pass off people's feelings as unnecessary. Some of us are more vocal, some are still very quiet. Some don't know what to say, some are very open. All of this is okay. We are at different stages of grief, but we are all here for each other. We need to consider the other members feelings and emotions when posting. We joke here a lot, and we cry here a lot. That is what is wonderful about this group. We do things together. We each have our boundaries and we should take head to those boundaries of others.
We need to put into consideration that some things that are written by someone that means no harm at all, might be taken as hurtful. Common everyday remarks like "hang in there," "that kills me," "just shoot me," etc. can be very hurtful to Moms that lost their children in those ways. We all do this, we don't mean harm. We just need to use consideration when posting something of these "sayings."
Anther issue is foul language. It is offensive to some, and yet some it does not bother. Use discretion when posting something language offensive and/or joke offensive.
If you are going to post something graphic or offensive to some, please use the subject line to administer the warning to the group, they then will have the choice to open it or not.
You may not use group e-mail to solicit money for personal gain. Or contact members for membership for another group, or your own.
If and when there would be major conflict within members in the group, our AngelMoms group has a Grievance Committee sat up for this reason. It is set up confidentially and no one is excluded by the group. We do not want interactions or confliction's to be discussed angrily in the group. It is not fair for the other members. Not everyone is going to agree with everyone else, it is not a perfect world. We all have our opinions, and everyone's opinions counts, but not always in agreement with someone else's.
These are our guidelines. If someone has any issues or questions, please do not hesitate to email us. We have a wonderful group of Moms, and we don't want anything to change that.
Judi & Loni